Persuading Charles
by Itsembarrasing
Summary: Plot borrowed (plagerised) from Jane Austen 's Persuasion and characters from the fantastic Tony Grounds! Another take on what could happen after the closing credits! I'm sorry that I've inflicted my atrocious writing on you all!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Molly stood transfixed observing them. The busy A&E department carried on round about her, no one noticing that the normally energetic and in control Staff Nurse Dawes had stopped and was watching with almost childlike wonder the group sitting in the corner. She observed that he was sitting with his elbows on his knees and running his hands through his hair, when he raised his head to speak to the older well presented woman next to him she noticed his hair was shorter than previous which appeared to make him more distinguished, and even with a furrowed brow and worry lines round his eyes he had aged well. She could almost sense his exasperation and stress from across the department and she deduced that it was because of Sam sitting in the middle of them, obviously injured during a match of some sort and from the information that the receptionist had gleaned suffered a broken collarbone. If Molly was asked to describe how she was feeling she would have chosen the cliché of an addict getting a fix, she was also aware that the next few minutes were going to be tough and she would be in no doubt at the end of it that after a disastrous decision 6 years ago she was no longer part of their lives. There would be no more dreaming of happy endings.

Charles stood up and ruffling Sam's hair bent down to make eye contact and speak to him before confirming whatever had been said with their companion, twirling his car keys in his fingers he looked about to get his bearings. Molly immediately dropped her gaze and feigned an interest in the paperwork in front of her whilst trying to keep an eye on his movement. She took in his easy long strided confident gait and felt a moments relief that there appeared to be no limp evident. Realising that he would probably be making his way to the shop she decided to take the opportunity to assess Sam before he returned. It meant her prioritising him above some other minor injuries but she could always explain it away by Sam being a minor. Her heart hadn't thumped like this since Afghan,

'Sam James' Molly tried to keep her voice steady as she shouted out the name that she would never have even thought in her wildest dreams would be coming out her mouth when she woke up this morning.

Sam and his companion made their way towards them. Molly was concerned that Sam might recognise her and tried to ignore the almost painful butterflies in her stomach. Thankfully Sam's facial expression gave no glimmer of recognition.

'Hi Sam, pleased to meet you' Molly hoped that they wouldn't realise the slip she had made in not introducing herself. 'I'm just going to quickly assess you before we decide the best course of action Sam and I can talk you through what will happen' she fought against the urge to replicate the hair ruffle that Charles had done earlier and instead motioned with her hands towards the vacant seats.

'Looks like you've given yourself a bit of an injury there mate, do you know your date of birth? Just like to make sure I'm treating the right Sam James! There could be loads of you out there in that waiting room'. The irony that even after 6 years Molly could have picked this Sam James from a line up of a 100 boys was not lost on her.

Sam smiled politely and gave his date of birth, and also informed her that his dad thought he had broken his collar bone. At this point his companion spoke, with her elongated vowels Molly surmised that it must be a close relative of the family.

'His father has just gone to the newsagents to choose some magazines for Sam, I think it may be better to wait till he returns?'

Molly smiled politely whilst hoping that the shop had a long queue but with an edge of determination in her voice replied 'If you don't mind as this is just an assessment I'll carry on, it will just delay treatment for Sam if we don't, his dad can sign any necessary paperwork when Sam goes to the ward' Returning her attention to Sam she asked 'Are you in any pain?'

Sam couldn't help but grimace when answering and Molly reassured him that they would get some pain relief sorted for him soon.

'Now Sam, I'm going to have to take a gander at your shoulder'

Sam immediately tried to remove the temporary sling that he was wearing and the discomfort was evident on his face. 'Sam just leave the sling on, I'll be able to have a look and once you go to the assessment ward or radiology they can remove your top. They ain't half mean with a pair of scissors in those departments, hope your not too attached to that top'.

Molly went over to Sam and assessed the damage, there was some swelling and evidence of the start of bruising but there seemed to be no concern of the bone rupturing the skin.

'Yup mate, definitely looks like a broken collarbone. Though you can tell your dad its really called a fractured clavicle, you don't want him to always be right. I'll make an appointment with radiology to have it x-rayed just to check and the ward will organize some pain relief. 3-6 weeks and you should be running around like nothings ever happened. As long as there's no complications you will be away tonight with just a sling and a brace"

Sam's face fell at this news and he immediately looked aghast at his gran.

"Nana, I have a rugby tournament in March and the team really really need me' Molly thought he may actually burst into tears and she resorted to her big sister role to try and cheer him up,

'March? That's yonks away and your well lucky, 3-6 weeks for you to heal, if it was me, though I would never be caught playing rugby, football is more my bag, I would be 6-8 weeks to heal', Molly gave Sam a huge reassuring smile though her smile started to slip from her eyes when she saw a look cross Sam's face before he enquired;

'Have I met you before?'

Molly swallowed nervously whilst trying to get her brain to engage;

'You visited this A&E lots of times then, that your starting to recognise the nurses?' She hoped her face didn't show the panic that she felt.

"No, sorry. We live in Bath, I was only up for my school's rugby match'. He had such a beautiful face thought Molly and the polite way that he answered all her questions was a credit to his parents, she almost felt nostalgic.

'Ah Bath, that's well posh innit' she realised that she was starting to panic and had resorted to her cockney accent before taking a breath and continuing 'Anyway, I'lll get this report to the necessary departments asap and then you can get yourselves back to Bath' Molly started to type the necessary information into the computer before being stopped by Sam's questioning;

'Asap, that's what my dad says' He continued to look thoughtfully at Molly.

'Were all getting lazy Sam, all this text speak and you should pull your old man up for that' Molly acknowledged that she really wasn't helping herself before continuing 'If you have a seat in the reception area they will give you a shout when they're ready, shouldn't be too long'. She smiled at Sam and his Nana as they got up to leave and was just shutting the door behind them when she realised that Charles had joined them. Molly almost had an anxiety attack when she realised how close she had been to actually coming face to face with him. She leaned her head against the partially shut door as she eavesdropped on their receeding conversation.

'You alright Scamp, sorry I took so long bumped into an old acquaintance on my way back'

'Dad the nurse has assessed me and says I've got a ….. a … fractured cavicle? clavicle?'

'oh dear, that does sound dangerous', he laughed in that old familiar way and Molly almost felt like succumbing to tears.

'They're going to get me pain relief too, what magazine did you get me…Spiderman oh dad, I'm 13 not 8 I can't believe you got me Spiderman'

Any further eavesdropping on Molly's behalf was interrupted by the door being flung open and a familiar and welcoming face peering round.

"Ah Molls, your not skiving are you, I know your overdue your break but sleeping at the back of the door isn't the way to go about protesting' Molly laughed partly through relief that she didn't have to face reality for another day and also because Sophie was such a good friend and flat mate.

"No chance of persuading you to get well pissed tonight is there, can't tell you how desperate I am'.

Sophie who was tall compared to Molly's petiteness, and blonde in comparison to Molly's brunette enjoyed the same easy going outlook that Molly did.

'What kind of best mate would I be if I couldn't get drunk with my flat mate, and please don't reply a responsible one" they laughed together, a welcome relief for Molly after the strain of the last 5 minutes.

'A crap one that's what you would be, here, who's on up at radiology today?' Molly picked up the internal phone and pressed the button for that deparment , Sophie answered her "Its your lucky day – the gorgeous and completely fancies you rotten Tom. Actually ..." Sophie opened the door and peered out before bringing her head back in ' ... talking of gorgeous have you seen the delight that is sitting in A&E just now' realising that Molly had started to speak to Radiology Sophie started to back out the room and finished with a parting shot of 'but I wouldn't get too excited, judging by his company I think he may be into cougars' Molly flipped her friend the finger before arranging for Radiology to x-ray Sam, the sooner the better she thought to herself.

After dropping off his mother in law Charles was trying to engage his son in conversation. As the car headed up the M4 towards Bath Charles was becoming increasingly worried about his reticent son and was trying to keep an eye on him out of the side of his eye. He noticed Sam biting his bottom lip a trait that he had seemed to pick up from him.

"Sam, are you still in pain?' maybe he hadn't had enough pain relief, he was sure that the hospital were cost cutting, bloody paracetamol how would that help with a broken bone.

"Not much Dad, thanks for asking though' Charles was aware of Sam letting out a deep breath and gazing at the passing countryside.

'If there's anything you need to talk about Sam don't bottle it up, it was some tackle you took I'm not surprised your….'

'Dad' Sam interrupted before pausing for a moment, he looked at his dad before staring straight ahead.

'Dad, the nurse who saw me at the hospital when you weren't there – I think it was Molly'.


	2. Chapter 2

Charles sat at the kitchen table nursing a brandy. Sam had retired to his bed slightly placated that even with a broken collar bone he was still able to use his ipad and they had agreed that instead of turning it of at 21:00 he could have an extra hour till 22:00. Charles had suggested that they didn't tell Rebecca, he had been in trouble before for not adhering to her strict bedtime deadlines, his argument that due to him spending time away on duty or deployment and therefore not having enough quality time with Sam was met with a steely glare and a heated discussion about it being his choice to be in the army.

'Can I just not mention it to mum, but if she asks I'll tell her' Sam had asked, Charles acknowledged that his son was going to be a better person than he ever would. 'Do you think we're brave enough for the wrath of your mum scamp" he had asked before continuing "but of course, honesty is always the best, your right as always' he had tenderly stroked Sam's cheek while he spoke and Sam had looked at the man who he idolised with a big smile on his face "always dad?'. For a brief moment Charles let the thought linger of a previous time he had received a reply like this before answering 'Well, technically I'm your dad, so no actually I'm always right and always will be even when I'm not – get settled and I'll see you in the morning and remember, one hour' He had used his Commanding Officer tone and Sam giggled and mock saluted him 'Yes sir'.

From the kitchen Charles could hear spurts of laughter from Sam, probably watching something completely inappropriate and he would have angry Rebecca the super parent to deal with. He would always be grateful to Rebecca for not challenging his request for joint custody after the divorce. She did however frequently take the time to challenge his parenting skills. The pride that Charles felt when he thought of the person that Sam was becoming was immense, not a day went by when Charles didn't think whatever holy entity there was that Sam was in his life.

They had moved into their cottage 5 years ago. After Charles had successfully withdrawn his request to resign his commission he had felt financially secure enough to buy his own place. With what he had to give Rebecca in child maintenance he couldn't afford anywhere near the size of house he had grown up in. Eventually both he and Sam had agreed on a cottage near Sam's school. Sam had loved it and when he stayed they had made a pact that no housework would be done at all, it was boys heaven. Charles often got up at the crack of dawn to carry out any necessary housework and to do washings etc so that Sam thought that he had kept to their childish pact. It was worth it just so that he could spend as much time as possible with his son. He had been successful till last year when Sam had found his dad cleaning the bathroom at 04:00 in the morning. Sam giggling at the bathroom door was a memory that Charles hoped was imprinted on his brain forever.

Rebecca and him had agreed that Sam would not go to boarding school but would be a day pupil at a school near Bath. They had disagreed on the actual choice of school but eventually Charles had talked Rebecca into his preferred school. It didn't have the same academic reputation but it was closer to both their houses and allowed Sam to have friends who lived close by, with Charles being away on deployment for upto 6 months at a time he felt that Sam needed as much stability as possible. There had only been once that Rebecca had cast up his choice as being a bad one. Recalling it still made him smirk and at the time had appeased his feelings of home sickness, he had been on deployment and had received a text from Sam,

hey pops dbeyr when mum mails u Fred at schl jja otp (MINE) I hon don't even know wht porn is & wll nvr look it up! ILU xx

This had transpired to read ' Don't believe everything you read when mum emails you, Fred at school just joking around on the phone (MINE) I don't even know what porn is and will NEVER look it up! I love you.

Charles had seen the funny side but Rebecca had called the school to complain, Charles didn't like to say that it probably didn't matter what school you went to these things would crop up with adolescent boys. In fact he remembered when he was at boarding school, though granted before the days of the internet, the older boys used to sell their porn magazines to the highest bidder, thinking he would look cool if he bought one Charles had duly done so and then been mentally scarred for many years, in fact he was sure that he was one of the only men in the British Army that didn't have a stash of porn with them whenever he went on tour.

Charles realised his glass was empty and got up to pour himself another.

'Molly Dawes' he whispered to himself as he lifted the glass in an almost imaginary toast.

Sam had questioned him in the car after dropping the bombshell of thinking that he had seen her. The conversation was up there with some of the most uncomfortable in his life. Charles had argued that if it had been Molly she would have acknowledged Sam, been pleased to see him but Sam had continued to glance down and worry the bottom of his lip 'Do you think Molly didn't like me dad' Charles had got angry at this question but his furious retort of no had frightened Sam and Charles had needed to calm it down.

'Molly didn't hate you, in fact it was her who persuaded me to buy you the Lego death star for your birthday, she really liked you Scamp' he didn't really want to defend her but like all parents he would do anything to not have emotional or physical pain inflicted on his child . 'Remember that bloody death star, took us 2 days to build it and you and David 5 minutes to break it, you were actually only interested in the lego figures' Charles took his eyes off the road to laugh with his son at that memory. Sam's face changed from sad to excited in an instance reminding Charles of how young he actually was 'Dad do you think we could try and rebuild it one day?'. Charles had mock grimaced before replying 'tell you what, lets just buy another, hang the expense, the thought of trying to find all the pieces and build it again is too much to bare!'. God he loved his son.

'Would you like to see Molly again' bugger thought Charles, he had thought they were over this line of questioning, he tried to keep his face neutral as he was aware of Sam's continued intense focus on his answers 'I hope wherever she is she's doing okay, but nah, I don't see what good it would do her coming back into our life', Did he hope she was okay or did he childishly hope she was miserable somewhere without him he wasn't sure.

He hated Molly, he was sure that was the feeling he encountered whenever he thought of her but he longed for it to be indifference. Prior to the car journey he might of kidded himself that that he was indifferent but the pain in his gut when Sam suggested that they might have been in the same building as him proved that he wasn't quite there yet.

Was it Molly at the hospital? And if it were why didn't he notice her? The only unsettling thought had been that Sam had been assessed when he had gone to get him a magazine. He had only gone because the receptionist had said that it could be a couple of hours wait, if he had known that Sam would have been called so soon he would have waited and been their for his son. Though Sam had said that the nurse had looked like and sounded like Molly it wasn't really evidence enough for him to think it definitely was. For christ sake they were in London, there must be hundreds of dark haired petite cockneys. He had lied to Sam when he asked if he would like to see Molly, he would like to see her but just to ask some bloody questions! First question would be why the hell hadn't she had the common decency to tell him that she was leaving him.

He dialled his mother in law and gave her an update on Sam. Rebecca was away for a romantic getaway with her new husband and though he was sure Rebecca would have phoned her mother after she had spoken to him he needed an excuse. After giving an update on Sam, though obviously leaving out the extended bedtime, he had enquired about the nurse. Using the excuse that Sam had wanted to send a thank you card. Thankfully she had believed his pathetic excuse but she had confirmed that the Nurse hadn't given her name. She alas felt the need to show her true colours by commenting on the appalling use of the English language and had asked Charles who exactly used the term 'innit' these days. Charles had wanted to reply 'someone with a bit of character' but had stopped himself. Really he was being a cantankerous old sod, Annabel had been nothing but helpful today.

This was going to be his last brandy he promised himself as he filled up his glass, he really hoped that there would be no random alcohol testing at the Barracks tomorrow.

He picked up the piece of paper he had obtained from the sister of one of his university friends he had bumped into today. He hadn't really envisaged contacting her when he took it, he had more suggested that they maybe meet up for coffee so he could end the conversation and get back to Sam. He turned the card over and over debating what to do whilst anxiously tapping the table nervously with his other hand. 6 years had been too long, he needed closure and to move on. If it was Molly it might be the only chance he would get to speak to her. Decision made he picked up his mobile.

'Lucy, yeah its Charles. Look lovely to see you today. Need to come up to London for some business in the next week or so and wondered if you would be free for a coffee? Brilliant, yeah, just text me your shifts and I can fit something round it. Okay, speak soon'.


	3. Chapter 3

V

Thank you so so so much for all your kind reviews, when I first hit submit I didn't realise how nerve racking it would be to have my words out there. I would like to apologise on behalf of Apple who keep changing my perfect punctuation and grammar, they really need to get their heads out their arses and get it fixed. They might try to blame me but surely when you proof read at least 50 times you would get everything?

**I've downloaded two chapters this time as I am aware that it can get a bit tedious building up to where they met. Hopefully won't be too long till next chapter. Thanks once again. **

'Is it something bad Molls?'

'To me yeah'

''Kay, well just so you know I'm not interested and don't even want to know so don't tell me' Sophie was taking full use of having the couch to herself, stretching out and reaching over and grabbing her wineglass, taking a nonchalant sip. Their girls night in wasn't going too well so far thought Sophie as she listened to Molly count to 35 out of the however many sit ups she was currently doing behind the sofa. Molly had already managed 50 press ups.

They had met whilst being on placement as nursing students. Bonded over a particularly jobs worthy ward sister who enjoyed showing the students 'the proper' way to make a bed. Sophie had caught Molly raising her eyes behind the sisters' back and making eye contact with each other they had suffered a fit of the giggles. Due to Sophie's unfortunate habit of snorting when trying to contain her laughter they had been caught and reprimanded. They had been put on commode duty and celebrated after their shift by going to the local pub and congratulating themselves on their new found ability to make a bed.

Shortly after graduating and securing employment flat hunting had been their priority and a very basic flat was found near their work. They had fallen in love with it all because of a power shower. They overlooked the tiny bedrooms that could just fit a double bed and chest of drawers. The 50s styled kitchen with linoleum tiles and the broken kitchen units was declared to be a 'classic'. It didn't cost much to heat and they didn't need to invest in a stereo system as the music from downstairs flat could easily be heard. Molly only saw perfection in her bit of sanctuary and when Sophie baled out to stay with her boyfriend Molly would invite a sibling or two to come over and spend time with her. Other flats in the block were proper flats but they didn't care, as long as they paid the rent it was their flat.

There were invariably arguments between the two especially when they worked together too often. Their disagreements normally ended with one of them seeing the funny side of whatever they were arguing about and they would bond over a glass of wine. Molly's ability to get up as soon as her alarm clock sounded meant she was would ensure that Sophie would never sleep in from her ability to turn off her alarm whilst sleeping. Sophie didn't complain when Molly had a cleanliness panic attack, donning her own pair of rubber gloves and mucking in, they would work together silently until Molly had got rid of whatever demons were bothering her that day.

Sophie hadn't ever pushed for details of Molly's past, not that she wasn't interested but had become aware that it was a subject that Molly didn't seem keen to discuss. She knew that Molly had been in Afghanistan as an army medic and sometimes would be regaled with stories of fun she had on tour with her fellow soldiers. Sophie had seen her MC medal once but when asking why she had received it Molly had clammed up and only said that she hadn't really deserved it. Boyfriends were scarce, she didn't seem to want to engage in many relationships and those that she did Sophie sometimes felt were more platonic than Molly admitted.

Molly had stopped her PT session when Lucy, their downstairs neighbour and player of loud music had entered the flat in her usual way without knocking and a regulation bottle of wine in her hand. She had had good news that she wanted to share with them and they were both more than happy to oblige. Molly's idea of a piss up session hadn't been very well organised and when getting back to the flat they realised that they had only one bottle of wine and the vodka bottle was empty. Thank goodness, they had both agreed, that Lucy was a proper proper house owner who received a regular supply from Virgin Wines and was more than happy to share.

'Well you posh twat, give us your news' Molly had said, squashing herself onto the sofa next to them. Taking a sip of wine Lucy tried to engage both of them, smiling and wiggling her eye brows before sharing her news.

'Before I tell you, you must come to visit, you promise'

They both had, excited at the thought of girls weekends away.

'Well, I went for that interview today and I only bloody got the placement, in 4 weeks time I will be Paediatric Trust Doctor extraordinaire at the Royal United Hospital Bath – my career is on the up, you must promise to visit me!'

Sophie squealed and pulled Lucy over for a congratulatory hug, her eyes widening when she noticed Molly over Lucy's shoulder 'Eh Molly, you can stop pouring now that glass is overflowing'.

Molly had congratulated Lucy, genuinely pleased for her career progression before resuming her place behind the couch and going for the world record of stomach crunches.

Lucy had just widened her eyes at Sophie who had shrugged in a way indicating that she also didn't have the faintest idea of what was going on before refilling her own and Lucy's glass of wine. Lucy hadn't stayed much longer, using an incoming telephone call to excuse herself from the strange atmosphere in the flat.

'Spill it Molls' Sophie leaned over the couch, taking in Molly's flushed face.

Molly paused for a second before continuing 'fit bloke today, cougar'

'Eh?'

'Fit bloke you mentioned today, son with the broken collarbone. Charles'

'His name was Charles? Did you know him? Sophie tried to recall anything today that had been strange when she had spoken to Molly about it, well apart from the fact she had found her hiding behind the cubicle door.

'He was my Commanding Officer on my first tour in Afghan' explained Molly a solitary tear slipping down her face whilst she amazingly managed to up the speed of her exercise. Sophie decided to join Molly on the floor, if she was lucky she would manage ten stomach crunches but it might a, make Molly laugh and b, encourage her to keep talking.

Not having heard any mention of this Charles before Sophie had no immediate reason to think her emotional state was due to him.

'Does it bring back memories of Smurf?' she asked softly giving up on the stomach crunches, well she had got to 4.

'He was a good man'

'Smurf?'

'The bossman, Charles, he was a good man. I was in love with him, lived with him in Bath for a bit' Molly sighed and then hiccupped before suddenly stopping and rubbing the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands. 'I'm going to see Candy in a couple of weeks, its been 6 months since I last saw her. Dreading it a bit if I'm honest. Do you think she'll ever be okay?' Molly sat up and looked at Sophie for some kind of reassurance, working in A& E they had seen their fair share of death and it never got any easier. Molly also had plenty of demons from her time in the army when it came to suffering.

'5 stages of grief Molly' Sophie referred to the theory they had learnt during their nursing studies 'she will, one day when she's ready. Something will come into her life to make it easier.' She patted Molly on the arm 'you've been a good support to her Molls don't beat yourself up'.

Molly pulled her knees up beneath her and stared ahead thinking.

'Was Charles his commanding officer too?' Sophie couldn't help but ask.

Molly sighed 'Yeah, he took the Welsh wanker's passing away hard too. There was just loads of shit that went on then. Fragged with my head for ages, made shit choices which I'll regret for the rest of my life I think"

'What did he say to you when you assessed his kid' Sophie had decided that alcohol was in order and stood up to retrieve the wine.

Molly bit her lip aware that she had never been forthcoming with her disastrous history 'I didn't speak to him, waited till he nipped to the shops and then called Sam in'

'Can I ask why Molly', Sophie was starting to realise that there was far more going on here.

'You're a great mate Soph, and I'm sorry but could we have this discussion another time, I promise' pleading eyes made contact with Sophie 'that I will very soon spill the beans but can you just give me a bit of time' finally raising a slight smile 'I think we'll need more wine or even vodka for that story'


	4. Chapter 4

V

Molly was in a bit of a panic, the train back to London from Newport was running 3 hours late due to a signalling problem meaning she was going to be cutting it very fine indeed for Lucy's leaving do. She was currently boarding the train allowing herself to remember a time before when Charles had been with her and insisted that they travelled first class. There was certainly no first class today and Molly wondered if she would actually manage to even get a seat.

It was at the end of what Molly now referred to as the 'Honeymoon Period' that she had first started visiting Candy and what had then become semi regular twice yearly visits. Charles knowing how much Molly was dreading trying to support an emotionally vulnerable Candy had suggested that he came with her, they could have an overnight stay and get some quality time together. He joked that while Molly spent time with Candy he would spend time to himself trying to find what exactly it was that had Smurf had loved so much about Newport.

He had booked them into a hotel and that night they had gone out for a meal, they couldn't take their eyes off each other and decided that they would re-enact their first date. Every time one of them spotted a waitress heading towards the table to refill their wine glasses or to ask how they were currently enjoying their respective course they would lean in for a passionate kiss and once the waitress had passed the table they would then call her over, smirking to each other, vengence was sweet thought Charles. Charles asked Molly if she was disappointed that he hadn't booked them into a travel lodge to which she had replied that anything was better than shagging in his parents' house. To get Molly back for her sarcastic reply, he had no doubt in his mind that she was just being smart, he had asked 'So Dawes, back of the Indian takeaway, what would it take for me to have that pleasure'. Molly had spluttered on her wine beaming bright red before coming back with her retort of 'Posh boy like you, I would have thought you would have settled for nothing less than a Michelen star restaurant' Charles had just winked at her and come out with some saying about locations that Molly didn't understand. Molly laughing had replied 'Whatever'.

Later at the back of the Chinese takeaway – the Indian had had the audacity to put up CCTV cameras – Charles and Molly gave into the sexual tension that had been building from the restaurant. Molly had her legs wrapped round Charles whilst he held her up and away from the slimy wall telling her at one point 'for fuck sake Dawes focus up and stop giggling, I'm not bloody superman, do the job your bloody good at and you can come before we get arrested ' Charles being the perfect gentleman had ensured that she had come first and even though there was nothing romantic about the location for both of them it would go down as one of their most intense joinings to date.

They had held hands and joked with each other all the way back to the hotel enjoying it just being the two of them before spending two hours in the bath laughing, drinking champagne and having a competition to see who knew the dirtiest joke. Charles having lost carried Molly back through to the bed where, in line with the rules of the competition he had shown Molly with his mouth only just how much pleasure there was in a loving passionate relationship.

.

The next day he had held her and kissed her face repeatedly when she came back tear stained from her meeting with Candy. Candy was nowhere closer to accepting the deaths of her boys and stilled blamed the army, when Molly had mentioned Charles the expression on Candy's face had been bitter and though Molly told her that she had to realise none of it had been his fault she had been fighting a losing battle. Candy was too grief stricken and with her anger needed someone to blame and Charles and the army was her outlet. The guilt started to creep in again for Molly that she more than the Captain was to blame for Smurf's untimely demise. They had returned to Bath with Molly shouldering a little more blame and for the first time acknowledging that there was a tiny bit of dread building up at having to continue to stay with his parents who had recently put their travel plans on hold due to the ill health of Charles' maternal granny.

Today Candy and Molly sat in the living room filled with photo's of the boys and caught up on all their gossip. Candy was starting the process to become a foster carer, excited about the prospect of having children in her house again. She had recently enjoyed a drama on the BBC and become infatuated with one of the characters, they giggled together as she told Molly that she had finally joined facebook so that she could chat to likeminded people and it was just as well she was on her own as anybody else would think she had gone mad. She discussed the merits of different tape measures, Molly really wanted to ask what the Scooby she was on about but the delight at having a happy Candy infront of her made her keep her mouth shut, maybe next time she would find out why it couldn't be a ruler.

The boys from 2 section had continued to keep in touch with Candy and though Molly had lost touch with them all when she had left the army she was always keen to hear what they had been up to:

'That's Dangleberries finally got his date to start at police training college, the boys have been proper winding him up telling him that he'll pull less girls with that uniform but he's loved up at the moment so he doesn't care.' She had informed Molly, pouring them both a cup of tea. 'Kinders has been promoted again and is now a Sergeant, Mansfield Mike says that he's turned proper bossy and put Fingers on a charge. Fingers is supposedly well raging and says that he's not buying Kinders a drink ever again' Molly had laughed at this, there was good camaraderie in the hospital but nothing like what she had endured in Afghanistan. 'The Captain, well he's a Major now, Mansfield Mike thinks that he will probably be promoted to Lieutenant Colonel at some point soon' About 3 years ago Candy had finally admitted to Molly that she knew that Charles couldn't have done anything about the boys deaths. Molly had been relieved and it had chipped away at some of her guilt. Candy had never known about Molly and Charles, so didn't realise that every time she mentioned his name Molly had to swallow a little harder and smile a little brighter. She hadn't felt it was right to tell Candy that she had met her special person especially when she had let him go. 'He still sends me a bunch of flowers each year the Captain does bless him, Fingers said he had told Kinders that he should take a leaf out of Captain James's book when it comes to being in charge'. Molly could just imagine Fingers rinsing Kinders out, she was sure that he would be on many charges in his career.

Molly came back to the present with an announcement that they would shortly be arriving in London, and sincere apologies for the delay. She thanked her lucky stars for the invention of dry shampoo and thought that if she was quick at getting changed she shouldn't be too far behind everyone else, nothing worse than being the only sober person.

After hurriedly slapping on some make up and deciding that her hair would have to be styled up Molly had left the house, a spring in her step from the little weight that had been removed from her shoulders with a happy Candy. She knew she could have made more effort getting ready but at the end of the day it wasn't as if she wanted to impress anyone.

Molly had arrived at the local bar easily spotting her friends and colleagues, they had all been pleased to see her and Sophie had given her a big hug before handing over a double vodka and coke and telling her that she expected to see Molly on the dancefloor, Sophie knew that Molly had previously always needed a bit of cheering up after a visit to Candy and thought that dancing and drink was the way to do it. Lucy had chatted to Molly for a few minutes before noticing someone coming in the bar and asking Molly to excuse her whilst she went over to welcome him.

Draining her drink Molly headed over to the bar to get another, if dancing was going to be required then sober wasn't going to cut it. She was starting to feel relaxed and finally, finally thought to herself she was starting to let go of her past.

Standing at the packed bar Molly patiently stood waiting to be served, enjoying singing along out of tune to the current dance anthem and people watching. She finally realised that the phone ringing was actually hers and smiled at Sophie's picture id, a scrabble board with the word euphemism on it and smiling Molly next to it , she answered looking over towards Sophie on the dancefloor and for some reason Sophie was looking at her with an apologetic worried expression.

'Soph you lazy bastard you'd better not be phoning with your drink order. What…? Molly had difficulty hearing what she was saying over the noise of the bar before it dawned on her that Sophie was saying something about behind her. Automatically Molly's eyes looked in the mirror above the bar and standing right behind her the cold brown eyes of Charles James stared right back into hers.


	5. Chapter 5

Version:

**As per everybody who submits on FF your comments are always most appreciated. Thank you so much xx **

Charles lay staring up at the ceiling recalling the events of last night. He knew that he was going to see her, goodness as soon as he told Lucy he was in the army and had been in Afghanistan she had volunteered the information that her friend and colleague Molly had also been there. He had also played the game and asked for her full name and what her role had been before saying that he could possibly have served with her at some point. When Lucy had invited him to her leaving do he knew that he had to go, he couldn't miss the opportunity.

He sighed to himself and tried to make sense of last night, sensing Lucy stirring beside him he closed his eyes, he didn't want to have a conversation yet, not quite sure how he was going to deal with this situation.

When Molly had looked at him he had expected her to look panicked or shocked but after her eyes had widened in surprise she had looked sad and when she turned round he almost thought she seemed pleased to see him. Expecting to see her he had been able to challenge all the frustration and anger he felt into an expressionless face, he needed to protect himself incase she gave him the cold shoulder. But when she had looked sad he had had to clench his teeth and put his hands in his pocket and look at the floor to compose himself and to stop him doing what he wanted to do. Before coming over he had his line ready but the simple words of 'Molly we need to talk' wouldn't come out of his mouth.

Lucy had bounded over and been pleased to see the two of them standing next to each other and asked if they did know each other, he had unconsciously crossed his arms, raised and lowered his eyebrows, stared hard at Molly before saying 'Yeah, you could say that' half smiled but the smile never reached his eyes and then looked at the floor again. Molly wasn't saying anything just standing staring at him and Charles just couldn't look at her. They were saved their awkwardness at that point by a friend of Molly's coming over and saying that she needed to borrow Molly for dancing, fuck he had thought to himself being in the same place as a dancing Molly Dawes that wouldn't be good.

They had then eventually sat at the same table and he struggled not to watch her but of course inevitably when someone spoke to him and he became distracted his eyes would automatically search for hers. Once they made contact and he couldn't help but hold her gaze for a few seconds, she was doing her bloody doe eyed stare and it was really doing something to his insides, the next time he had accidentally looked she was in deep conversation with Lucy, they were having a conversation which Lucy appeared to be taking in intently before Molly appeared to sense his attention and turned round and made eye contact with him. This time along she looked almost guilty, well so she bloody should he thought. He immediately transferred his gaze to Lucy who gave him a flirty smile, still thinking of Molly he returned the smile and sentiment, somewhere in his peripheral vision he was aware of Molly taking in the exchange. She had left shortly afterwards by herself and he had contemplated running after her but Lucy had come over at that point and had started to make her intentions clear. His head wasn't in a place to say no and anyway he enjoyed the distraction. The friend that had asked Molly to dance earlier sat beside them and started chatting. Lucy had introduced her and explained that he knew Molly a bit as they had served in Afghanistan. When Sophie had asked what she was like in the army he fought the urge to let his own hurt feelings answer that he hardly recognised her such that she had let herself go; he had taken in her pale complexion and that her once beautiful hair didn't quite have the same shine, she was also lacking that air of exuberance that she once had but he had swallowed his pride and said that it was always good to see someone who had been in your platoon and that she had been an excellent medic and soldier. Fucking shit girlfriend though.

Lucy invited him back to her flat, for some reason, possibly the drink she had started to refer to him as Chas, he hated any shortening of his name and he would have to put her right pretty soon. He had known as soon as she invited him back that he would stay the night. Sam would be with Rebecca and he didn't want to be alone. He also hadn't counted on desperately needing a drink, his nerves were shattered and his emotions buggered, had he really thought a few weeks ago that he could be indifferent or hate her.

Charles stopped thinking of last night as he took in the noise from the flat above, he could actually hear people laughing. Lucy was starting to stir, no wonder contemplated Charles, you would need to be dead to sleep through that racket.

He was dreading Lucy waking, how do you actually have that conversation. It would have been easier if they had actually had sex but he had persuaded Lucy that she was too drunk and might regret it in the morning. Lucy had got a bit amorous at this point and her hands had started to wander, she had got to her planned destination and then said that it obviously wasn't true, he really didn't have a clue what she was talking about and removed her hand, kissed Lucy on her forehead and said that they should take it slow.

The problem was that she was going to wake up soon and he really didn't know what to say.

Upstairs Sophie and Molly were busy analysing last night. Molly had admitted that it hadn't gone too badly and though awkward was glad that she had finally seen him, Sophie admitted that he had actually come across as a decent person and maybe if she ever bumped into him again Molly might actually manage to talk to him. Molly had nodded her head and thought how nice it would be to ask about Sam. They had then worked together to get breakfast together laughing at the antics of some of their colleagues last night as they prepared, Lucy would be due up soon.

Charles stood outside the upstairs flat with Lucy, he had been relieved when she had woken, looked at the time and said in a panic they needed to get ready. She had though taken the time to make him a fresh cup of coffee, unfortunately though he detested real coffee beans after becoming so used to his nespresso, but Lucy had appeared to think that she was doing something extraordinary and he hadn't want to appear rude so he had drank it. Apparently every Saturday she had breakfast upstairs (if not working) and every Sunday her neighbours would come down to hers. Charles was just pleased that it would buy him time before having the awkward chat. It was only when he was standing outside the flat did he remember his manners and ask if they would mind him joining. Not at all she had replied and anyway he already kind of knew Molly.

Sophie would have loved, for prosperity to have had her camera ready at that exact moment to capture the look on Charles's face when he realised that Molly had sussed that he had spent the night with Lucy and on Molly's face when she registered that Charles must have spent the night with Lucy.

Molly had regained herself well, telling herself that she had no right to any claims on Charles and had become the perfect hostess, she had even managed to ask him if he would like tea or coffee, surprisingly he had requested a tea and her first words in nearly 6 years were spoken to him. She would possibly head to the toilet for a quick cry when she had the opportunity.

20 minutes later Charles was standing in the kitchen and he was absolutely fucking furious with Molly. Where had it all gone wrong he wondered but then he remembered when he first should of heard the warning bells.

Rebecca had been called to school by a livid headmistress who had told her in no uncertain way that Sam using the word wanker as his word of the day and telling the class it meant tosser was not appropriate and this would be a warning. The house in Bath had been in an uproar and Charles's parents' couldn't quite look Molly in the eye. Charles as usual tried to do his best taking an embarrassed Molly's face in his hands and looking intently into her eyes he told her that it would be okay, she was part of his life and if she could just try a bit harder to fit in he would appreciate it. She had smiled sadly at him and nodded her head. She had kept her gob shut, not wanting to break Sam's trust that he had overheard her while hiding under her and Charles's bed, scared from his grandparents because he had knocked over and broken one of their favourite vases. Molly had of course reassured Sam and taken the blame offering to pay for the priceless vase.

Later they had gone out for dinner together and whilst walking back they had had one of their final conversations:

'Charles' Molly tugged on his hand so he would stop and look at her, when he did she looked at him pleadingly 'Can we please look into getting our own place' he had pulled her into a hug and speaking into her hair had said sadly 'Molly we can't afford it, I don't know what I'm going to do once my commission is over and you don't earn enough as a private. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment and anyway Rebecca is making me bloody skint with the child maintenance money I give her not to mention Sam's school fees'. She had reassured him that she understood as the last thing she wanted to do was give Charles anymore problems.

They had returned to his parents home in Bath and Charles had passionately kissed her trying to convey how much she meant to him. Going up to the bedroom he had indicated to the floor with a bossy inclination of his head. His parents were sleeping in the bedroom downstairs and after an extremely passionate night a few week ago and then some very embarrassed looks from his mum in the morning, they had their concerns that the sound proofing might not be that great.

'Don't think I'm going to get carpet burns' he had come behind her as she spoke and started to undress her kissing her neck as he went.

'Come on Dawesy, where's your sense of fun?'

'Your not the one that's going to be running round the parade ground with everyone taking the piss are you?' she had responded turning round to face him.

'Well, what would I tell my rehab team if I had carpet burns' he had asked while taking her hand and pulling her down onto the floor with him.

'Your getting exercise?' he had laughed at her answer before she had suddenly taken him in her mouth and he had willingly taken the bottom spot.

'And anyway' she paused as she started to kiss her way back up. Straddling him, he put his hands on her hips desperate to guide her and feel some friction when she moved herself just slightly out of range, she leaned forward and bit his ear before whispering 'your not always going to be my boss'. That was the last time he was able to bring her to an orgasm.

He was standing in Molly's kitchen waiting for her, everything had come out whilst she had visited the bathroom and he was still waiting, maybe she was unwell. It transpired that whilst he had tried to be mature about their situation about and desperately wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt about just upping and leaving him one night she had been her usual piss taking Dawes. Having fun at his expense she had told Lucy last night that he liked to be called Chas, hated nespresso capsules and apparently wasn't very well endowed.

Molly had eventually unwittingly come into the kitchen after him in the hope that she could maybe ask how Sam was when she saw his face, she almost stood to attention. He leaned into her using his size to intimidate her and hissed:

'Very fucking mature Molly, you enjoying your little game' before pulling himself up to his full height and storming out of the kitchen. Molly acknowledged that she had seen arrogant, annoyed and army captain Charles but never livid Charles and she really didn't like it.

His sub conscious shouted to his conscious that actually he was more upset that he had spotted a note on the fridge listing Molly and Sophie's best sexual conquests from 1-10 he wasn't even on Molly's list and it hurt. Big time. His conscious congratulated itself on finally getting Closure.

Molly looked around her trying to compose herself before going back out. This was all going a bit shit and she didn't know what to do. Her eyes rested on a list that she had completed whilst drunk last night and was relieved that Charles hadn't seen that. In her best drunken handwriting she had written:

I will absolutely die if:

Lucy rolls up her sleeves one day and I see her shopping list (not written by herself)!

Lucy tells me just how wrong I am about Charles 'size'

I ever hear them singing don't go breaking my heart!

She didn't even notice the note on the fridge because it had been there so long and anyway was made up to keep everybody off her back, there would only have been one name she would have put on it anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

**I can't thank you all enough for your kind comments. Hopefully I do it all justice! Re-read the previous chapter and I'm sorry to any asthma sufferers, some of the paragraphs were a bit,well shall we say rushed. After reading some I had to reach for my inhaler! Thanks again to Tony Grounds and Jane Austen, she's probably turning in her grave.**

'Hi' she asked sheepishly standing behind him as he studied the table plan.

He turned round 'Hi to you too!' he looked down at her intently.

'Look Charles, I'm sorry about the last time, I was just a bit stressed and you know good old Molly Dawes up for a laugh.' Molly took a deep breath 'I've not really matured' she gave him a small sad smile.

He looked at his feet thinking for a moment before replying 'It's fine Molly, I over-reacted just wasn't having the best of days.' He gave her a pretend annoyed look 'my day never starts off well when I'm given a crap cup of coffee'.

Molly snorted 'sorry – not a fully functioning human being or something?'

He inhaled trying not to laugh 'Are you really sorry Dawes'?

Molly giggled 'Well, yeah, but it was quite funny when she was calling you Chas'

He crossed his arms trying not to be amused 'I don't see what was funny about that and if you want me to wipe that smile off your face we can discuss your other little indiscretion.'

Molly's face went bright red 'nah your alright bo….' she bit her lip 'Charles, think we can leave that one'.

They held each others gaze before Molly had to break it aware that Lucy was calling on her.

Their respective partners for tonight's Charity Dinner were heading over. Molly had borrowed the services of Tom for the night. They had a flirty relationship together but Molly was aware that the chances of them going home together were nil. She wasn't willing to put out and Tom would most likely find a waitress or a member of bar staff to go home with. As he had told Molly previously, Radiology was a stressful job and he enjoyed de-stressing. Molly had pointed out that it was a pathetic excuse and he couldn't possibly last a morning in A&E never mind a full day. She really didn't mind though as their platonic relationship suited her.

Since her and Charles's disastrous previous meeting Molly had a lengthy conversation with her Nan. Her Nan had quite rightly told her that she had made her bed so to speak 6 years ago and she would just need to accept it. She had gone onto comment that there were 'hunners' of blokes out there and Molly shouldn't miss a 'good un' because she was being pathetic over Charles. Molly thought that maybe if her Nan had ever actually met Charles she might not be saying that. Anyway her Nan was right especially as it seemed that Charles and Lucy were becoming 'fond' of each other according to Sophie. Molly was just going to have to suck it up.

'Charles Tom, Tom Charles' Lucy indicated before hugging Molly.

Charles shook Tom's hand pleased to note that he was a good 4" taller than him.

They made their way over to the table. Charles pulled out Lucy's seat for her and assisted her to pull her seat in before sitting down. He noticed that Tom was too busy checking out a waitress to help Molly and he looked to his friend Hugo who had been placed next to Molly indicating for him to help her. Hugo smiled nervously at Molly

'Allow me' he stood up and pulled out her seat.

'Oh thanks mate, that's kind of you but I would have been fine. Where I grew up we got our own seats' unfolding her napkin she continued 'or space on the floor actually, there were never enough seats'. She gave Hugo a big smile, he looked down at his dinner and coughed. This was going to be a great night thought Molly.

There was a sweepstake going on at the table with odds of who would stay on the bucking bronco – the entertainment for the night the longest.

'I think 2 minutes for Tom and I'm going to say 1 minute for Lucy because she seems the drunkest' Sophie loved a bet and had made the most money last year, she had been a little bit of a bad sport when she had to give it back to the Charity though.

'Dawes don't even think about it' Sophie pointed over and waggled her finger at her friend.

'Wasn't going to' Molly mumbled with her head down not making eye contact with anyone.

'For the benefit of our table companions who weren't here last year and didn't see it on Youtube' Tom smiled and winked at Molly who was looking at him in disbelief.

'Please no Tom' Molly pleaded before pulling him over and whispering in his ear

'I'll do anything please just keep your gob shut'

'Would these be naughty kinds of things?' Tom whispered back excitedly.

'Maybe, we can discuss it later'

'Sorry Molls, we either agree and shake on it now and quite frankly it would need to be really dirty stuff – maybe even a threesome'

He looked so smug knowing how uncomfortable she was 'Fuck off Tom' she hissed.

Charles watched this interlude feeling a little uncomfortable, it was hard to see Molly with someone else, he wondered if she felt the same about Lucy and him.

'Ladies and Gentlemen' Tom looked round making sure he had everybody's attention before continuing 'last year the consummate professional Staff Nurse Dawes decided that bull riding was in fact her missed calling in life. Thanks to a few jagermeisters and some encouragement from her good friend Soph, well a leg up anyway, Molly decided that her dress was too tight to show the entire room her ability to stay on and therefore hitched it right up to her arse to give everybody a view of her knickers. Unfortunately' he paused to give dramatic effect 'her career as a bull rider was cut short when the start button was pressed and she fell off'.

The entire table dissolved into hysterical laughter and Molly looked at Charles, mortified to realise that even he was finding it immensely funny. She shot Tom a dirty look and hung her head in shame before taking a sip of her water.

Hugo brought himself out of his shyness to speak to Molly and to try to ease her discomfort.

'Your boyfriend likes to embarrass you?'

'Oh he's not my boyfriend, and to be perfectly honest after that he's not even my friend' Molly was completely nonplussed about the question, it had never been her intention for anyone to presume that he was.

'What about you? Anybody special in your life?'.

Charles had been trying to eavesdrop with difficulty and had missed part of the conversation with an increasingly drunk Lucy trying to talk to him about spa weekends but he heard this and flinched. He kicked himself for not warning Molly of Hugo's situation.

'Nope, after getting half my leg blown off in Helmand she left me' he looked despondently at Molly.

'Sounds a bit shit mate. How's things been with your leg since – you taken up any of those sports the army have been encouraging everyone with an injury into?'

Hugo used to people backing off not knowing what to say when he mentioned his wife and amputation opened up to Molly and they started having a really good chat.

Lucy had gone to the toilet, a bit unsteadily Charles was concerned to note, but it allowed him the opportunity to continue to listen into Molly and Hugo's conversation. He mouthed 'thank you' to Molly. It was nice to see his friend actually appearing to have a good time, he had been devastated when his wife had left him and Charles had tried his hardest to be supportive when Hugo needed it. Hugo had been there for Charles when he had split up with Rebecca and also to a lesser extent, Hugo had been on tour at the time, when Molly had left.

The drinks were flowing freely and Charles and Molly appeared to be the only ones taking it easy. Hugo and Molly's conversation was in full flow.

'Charles nearly resigned his bloody Commission, in fact he did he was just bloody lucky that they let him retract it. All for a bloody woman and anyway she left him, just like my wife.'

'I'm sure she had her reasons Hugo and you can't let it put you off moving forward. This isn't a Victorian novel that we're living in, your not going to die of a broken heart. Honestly, it will get easier believe me.'

'Speaking from experience?' he asked gruffly.

'Yeah learn from my mistakes. Its how we deal with it all after that matters. If you love your wife then talk to her, ask her why, don't just put your head in the sand. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.' She took another sip of water before shrugging her shoulders and carrying on 'The worst has already happened anyway, she's left, if your brave and talk to her its either going to get you back together or give you closure to move on. Don't ruin your life Hugo.'

Charles was really surprised and a bit non-plussed at Molly's answers. Had there been someone who had broken her heart in the last 6 years? He watched her, taking her in, he still thought she was beautiful but he was here with another woman and he shook his head getting rid of his thoughts.

'Hey Molly, you've got a MC medal haven't you, can we borrow it for going on the pull' Molly's attention was drawn to Steve one of the junior doctors sitting down beside Sophie. Before she could answer Sophie chipped in giggling;

'Molly doesn't have it anymore, she gave it away.'

Molly laughed and said to Sophie 'Anything for a quiet night!'

'You gave your MC away?' Charles asked getting Molly's attention, they starred at each other. Charles couldn't quite comprehend and put his head to the side questioningly.

Sophie decided to fill him in and leaned forward to make eye contact with him' Whilst on placement we worked in a dementia unit, there was this poor old veteran who had lost his medal, would get really upset about it and be up all night looking for it. Molly brought the medal in and gave it to him, he slept with it under his pillow. She never had the heart to ask for it back.'

Charles exhaled through his nose. That was the problem with Molly Dawes as soon as you thought you had her sussed she would do something fucking awesome, he just shook his head.

The entertainment had started and everyone at the table was getting excited, looking at them Molly realised it was going to get messy everyone was completely rat arsed.

Molly had a feeling of foreboding when she saw Lucy stagger off to the bull, she tried to make eye contact with Charles, and when she did she realised that he was just as concerned as she was but neither could get to her quickly enough.

Lucy got on the bull and the man in charge didn't notice that she had a bottle of champagne in her other hand. The bull started and in slow motion Molly watched Lucy clinging on for a few minutes before raising both hands and still holding onto the bottle, at that point the bull bucked and Lucy was flung off and the bottle spiralled away and landed right where Lucy's head would land, Molly could actually hear the crack as her head made contact with the bottle.

Charles and Molly were the first to reach her, Molly immediately going into medic role.

'I'll phone an ambulance Molly' Charles took his phone out of his pocket.

'Thanks, she's completely out cold but her pulse is strong. Shit' she said realising that there was a lot of blood from a wound on the back of her head. Charles grabbed some napkins and passed them to Molly. 'Anything else I can do?"

'Thanks Charles but these fuckmuppets can help me' Molly indicated the now quickly sobering up medical professionals heading over to her. He stood back and observed.

Charles was standing speaking to one of the paramedics explaining what had happened and that he was Lucy's companion. Hugo had come over to join them. Charles finished talking to the paramedics and turned to speak to Hugo, running his hand through his hair nervously.

'It was just as well Molly was there, she's just the kind of person you need in an emergency'. Molly walked away not wanting him to realise that she had overheard and not wanting to hear anymore.

Later Molly was standing staring at the ambulance as they stretchered Lucy in, she was still out cold.

'You alright?' Molly jumped not realising that Charles had come over to her.

'Yeah fine just feel guilty that I couldn't stop her getting on' Charles placed his hand on Molly's shoulder making her turn round to look at him.

'Molly I should have been keeping an eye on her, she just seemed to suddenly get dangerously drunk, think she must of gone to the bar and had some more shots. The paramedics think that its not as serious as it looks she'll just have some stitches and then a really sore head in the morning but then I suppose with your training you'll know that'

Molly gave an exasperated sigh 'You just never know with this job, but thanks, its good to know'.

Charles looked embarrassed before letting go of her shoulder 'you alright for getting home?'

He had obviously noticed that her 'date' had successfully chatted up the bar maid and was now probably shagging her somewhere.

'Yeah I'm fine its not far I'll just walk' Molly indicated the direction of her flat.

'Can you please get a taxi, don't want to have to worry about you tonight as well' Charles grudgingly admitted.

'Yeah sure' Molly looked up and gave him a tight smile.

'Your not going to, are you?' Charles shook his head in exasperation.

'Nope' she answered honestly.

Charles turned as the paramedic shouted to him.

'I'd better go Molly, please take care' They stared at each other sadly before Charles sighed and jogged over to the ambulance.

Molly started the long walk home, arms wrapped around herself trying to give herself some comfort. It was getting better though she concluded. .


	7. Chapter 7

V Thank you very much to Jenmc - Any (I say that like I might actually have not made some) errors are mine and Apple's. Thank you all for your kind comments!

'So when were you last in Bath Molls?'

'6 years ago, feels like bleedin yesterday' Molly sighed looking around her, remembering previous visits as they walked towards the taxi rank outside Bath station. Charles would always meet her at the train station and sometimes bring Sam with him but Sam was more excited about the trains than Molly it had always made them laugh. It had all felt so right and comfortable then and she had no doubt that they would last. How things changed, she hadn't seen Charles since the night of the Charity Ball. She tried not to think of him after all he was going out with her friend. It was difficult though. She unwittingly let out a sigh.

'We can get through this Molls, 30 mins with Lucy and then we're out of there' Sophie punched Molly on the shoulder 'it's like a bloody busman's holiday isn't it – so a bit of sympathy and then into the nearest pub'

Molly laughed opening the door of a waiting taxi 'Sounds like a plan mate'.

Charles had answered the door, Sophie turned round to wink at Molly, he had obviously come straight from the Barracks.

'Expecting trouble are we Charles' a grinning lecherous Sophie asked.

'Well you could say that, she's not a very good patient.' He mock grimaced. He suddenly felt shy, he didn't have a clue what to say to Molly even when he knew that they would be arriving. Last time he had seen her they had left on good terms with each other and he didn't want to ruin that. He couldn't get Molly out of his head not that he really ever had.

Lucy wasn't used to feeling ill and was consequently feeling sorry for herself. The wound had been deeper than they had first thought due to glass from the bottle and she was still suffering from headaches and required the dressing changed every couple of days. She had spent nearly 2 weeks in her flat since she came out of hospital with just visits from her parents and Charles to look forward to. Charles had asked Hugo to go up and sit with her sometimes due to his work commitments or when he had Sam. She had been pleased at first to see Molly and Sophie but the temptation to moan had been too much.

Molly had sat for 10 minutes listening to Lucy bemoaning everything about her situation before heading out to talk to Charles. She didn't exactly feel much sympathy after all it had been Lucy's fault and anyway, Lucy had Charles.

She grinned at him as she saw him working away on his laptop at the dining room table.

'So how's the invalid been?' she sat down opposite him.

He looked up, leaned back and stretched 'I don't know how you do this nursing shit Molly?'

'I only do it when I'm paid, Sophie and I will be out of here as soon as we can' Molly looked round about her 'take it were not getting offered a drink.' They smiled at each other both relieved to be on good terms.

'Tea do you?' he got up from the laptop.

She followed Charles through to the kitchen, watching him. She'd never really appreciated him in his uniform when in the army as everybody was wearing them and they certainly became less attractive when you had to wash them every day but now she could possibly see what the attraction was. Well with the uniform, she could always see the attraction in Charles.

'So I take it you got home okay from the dinner the other week' he put a tea bag in a cup and raised up a finger to check that Molly still took the same amount of sugars.

'Yeah' she nodded 'think I'm safe on the streets of London, they can sense that I'm a trained killer'

Charles laughed before handing her tea 'I would have phoned to check you got back safely but its been a long time since I've had a number for you that works' he raised his eyebrows 'just had to check the news that no trained killer had gone missing or even worse.'

She blew on her cup of tea trying to cool it down 'sorry about that.'

Charles scratched his hair and leaned against the kitchen worktop 'so you've got a few days off?'

'Nah, back to the shit hole tomorrow, I'm backshift. Sophie and I only have one night of freedom'

'So you're going to make the most of it?'

'Yeah, what about you – practice your Florence Nightingale here?'

Charles laughed 'Careful Dawes, nah I've still got some paperwork to finish then I'm heading off to see Sam and take him to football. I'm away on exercise tomorrow for a week so need to see as much of him as I can.'

'How is he Charles, I think about him a lot you know' she took a sip of tea trying not to make eye contact but then couldn't help looking up.

Charles looked uncomfortable, in a way he didn't want to give Molly an easy ride as Sam had found it difficult to comprehend Molly leaving but at the moment she looked absolutely devastated.

'He's fine Molly, and his shoulders healing well'

Molly looked panicked 'He recognised me!'

'Of course he did Molly.' Charles shrugged his shoulders.

'I didn't know what to say'

Charles laughed bitterly 'Hello Sam how are you doing? Would probably have sufficed' he caught sight of Molly's face 'Look I'm sorry that was uncalled for, I'm sure you had your reasons though I probably wouldn't agree with them.' He contemplated for a moment before continuing 'i'm sorry I promised myself that if I was in your company I wouldn't bring up the past.' Trying to lighten the mood he continued and laughed 'He was funny a couple of weeks back though came down with the sling on the wrong arm and told me he didn't think he could go to school because his arm was too sore. Was almost tempted to let him get away with it'.

Molly laughed but Charles could tell that she was still upset, she could still tug at his heartstrings and he didn't know what to do. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Molly spoke quietly, still unsure of herself.

'I saw Candy recently, she was saying that you're probably going to be promoted soon'

Charles looked surprised 'How was she? I know some of the boys keep in touch with her but they're not in my platoon any more so I don't really see them that often to ask.'

'She's fine in fact she was the best that I've seen. She's decided that she wants to foster. I'm a bit worried if she has to undergo a phschy test though'

'Why she still not quite there yet?'

'No. She raised Smurf, there must have been something well dodgy in that family' they laughed together. 'so anyway your promotion, Lieutenant Colonel James, bit of a mouthful there'. She paused from drinking her tea to look up at him cheekily.

His eyes darkened 'you and your euphemisms Dawes.'

Molly spluttered on her tea, she knew quite well what a euphemism was now and as much as she tried she couldn't get certain images out of her head. Charles watching her was having the exact same problem.

Sophie came through 'Make us a cup of tea Molls, god that was hard work, you need to get her told Charles, this dying swan routine is pathetic. She's wanting you, needing grapes peeled or something'. Charles raised his eyes and headed off.

'My god Molls, I knew he was handsome but that is something else in a uniform, look at his arse. Do you think I could join the queue cause Lucy must be seriously pissing him off with her patheticness, you and him have history which I'm sensings not great so I'm thinking that I might be in luck'

'You have a boyfriend Sophie' Molly mock warned.

'He doesn't have an arse like that though Molly' Both her and Molly looked through the kitchen door unconsciously in his direction, well in the direction of his arse.

'Did she really want grapes peeled?' Molly asked screwing up her face.

'No, she doesn't have any grapes though, she's going to sleep now and just wanted to say bye to Charles before he leaves'.

They waited till Charles came back and made small talk before saying their goodbyes. Charles let them out the door before touching Molly on the arm to get her attention. 'Molly' he paused and Sophie turned round and gave Molly an encouraging smile and headed towards the stairs 'I'll get you outside Molly, I'll go and sniff out the nearest pub'

'Look I'm sorry,' Charles seemed really uncomfortable 'Is there any chance that we could meet up and maybe talk' he sighed 'I need to know' . He smiled apologetically

Molly took a deep breath trying to keep the panic out of her voice 'Yeah, of course, sorry'

'I can't tonight and anyway I think Sophie would kill me if I messed with her plans but if you maybe gave me your number or took mine we could meet up when I get back from exercise in a weeks time. I could come up to London?'' He kept on running his hands through his hair nervously and gave Molly a pleading look.

They went back into the flat so that Charles could get some paper, he turned his back when writing down Molly's number so that Molly didn't notice that his hand was shaking, He was sure that he had already saved it into his memory by the time he had it noted down.

They stood at the door looking at each other unsure of what to say, eventually Charles inclined with his head towards the stairs. 'You'd better go Molly, we'll catch up when I get back okay.'

Molly could only smile sadly at him.

'


	8. Chapter 8

P

Molly couldn't remember ever being this nervous. It was ten to 8 and they had arranged to meet at eight. She sat on a bench on the other side of the road from the restaurant going over and over in her head what she was going to say. None of it sounded right and she didn't think she would be able to get him to understand how she had felt at the time. Molly put her hands against her eyes trying to keep away the tears.

'Molly?'

Molly looked up to see Charles standing over her, his hands in his pockets. He waited for her to speak but when she didn't he sat down next to her. He looked around him nervously struggling to find something to say 'I've always liked this restaurant, my parents used to bring me here when I was younger' he brought his attention back to Molly noticing she was shivering.

'Would you not prefer to go inside? Your cold out here.'

Molly stared up at the sky remembering the stars in Afghan, tears rolling down her face 'I'm sorry Charles, I don't think I can do this.'

Charles let out an exasperated sad sigh 'So we're having this conversation out here then. Molly, we need to do this. I have to move on with my life.'

Molly just nodded before whispering 'I couldn't bare if you hated me.'

He crossed his arms and shrugged 'it's a bit late to be worried about me hating you, I think that happened nearly 7 years ago'.

Molly bit her lip 'Yeah sorry stupid thing to say'.

Charles put his arm round Molly and pulled her over towards him, she was still shivering 'I don't mean I hate you Molly, I just mean that when you left that was probably my closest emotion. You can't love someone and have them leave and not have some negative emotion, especially when it's a one sided break-up'

She looked up at him eyes bright with tears 'I can't remember that you loved me, I look back on the last few months together and just, I dunno, just don't remember you being in love with me'

He looked at her quizzically 'what do you remember?'

She raked in her pockets with one hand looking for a hankie, not wanting to move an inch from Charles, not finding one she used her sleeve to wipe her eyes 'I just remember feeling trapped.'

'Trapped? He asked incredulously taking his arm away from round her shoulders. 'How on earth did you feel trapped, you were in the bloody army Molly you were away more than you were at home?'

Molly took a deep shuddering sigh 'At first when I came back from my 2nd tour in Afghan I was like some hero, I didn't think it myself but everyone kind of looked up to me, I had respect, it was a strange feeling I'm so used to being the underachieving joker.' She gave a brittle laugh and stared at her hands 'then I got posted to the other platoon and somehow they knew that I was with you. That I had bagged a Captain whilst on deployment. At first I thought I could cope with it, just some more piss taking bastards but every opportunity they got they would slag me off about it, I wasn't allowed to be part of the team' she paused for breath.

Charles interrupted 'But Molly, why didn't you report it'

'What like when you realised the boys were sending me to Coventry in Afghan, what did you tell me, yeah that was it not to let some name calling put me off the job in hand. Anyway the day before I left Beck pulled me in and gave me a bit of a hard time, it had got back to him about us and that you were leaving the army for me and he told me that if this was just some school girl crush then I had to do the right thing'.

Charles was almost at a loss for words, he would have words with Beck the next time he saw him, 'Was it some silly school girl crush?'.

'No of course not, but I had punched a bit above my weight though hadn't I' she didn't give him a chance to respond before continuing 'Then I would go home to Bath and it would be fine when you were there but when you weren't it was awful. Your mum was stressed about your gran and I knew I was a nuisance, Rebecca would get a dig in when she could and obviously I never helped myself with my language around Sam.'

'Why didn't you speak to me Molly, you know I thought we were equal?'

'What would you have done Charles? You had already given up the army for me. We couldn't afford our own place and you were fine living with your parents, it was just me that wasn't happy.'

'Molly, you know it wasn't your fault I wasn't going back to the army. I thought we had got over this after your 2nd tour.' His exasperation showing in his tone.

Molly shot him a sideways glance 'No disrespect but you got back into the army pretty quick didn't you.'

Hugging herself she continued 'When I was doing my nursing I'd got pretty upset over something one day and there was a psychiatrist there, took me aside and he spoke to me, knew I'd been in the army and interested in my background. He did the whole shrink thing and got me talking. He was the first person I'd spoken to about anything since I'd left you, he told me I had depression and should speak to my GP. Apparently it can be a while after events that you suffer, at the time your so busy coping that you manage. Didn't realise that just thought I'd fucked up my life again'.

Charles let out a big sigh 'I've spent these last few years thinking that you'd maybe met someone else or got drunk had a one night stand and couldn't face telling me. It never occurred to me that maybe you just needed more support.' He shook his head 'I just don't understand why you just left though and didn't say anything. Do you know how hard it was just to wake up to a note, no you, just a note. Did you never consider how I would have felt?'

She shrugged her shoulders 'I thought you would be relieved, I thought everyone would have been relieved eventually, I didn't think for a minute that I would have upset your life too much – I didn't did I?' her voice breaking.

'Molly did your parents not tell you that I came to their house looking for you, desperate to speak to you to check you were okay. All I got was a text 5 days later from you saying that you were fine nothing more. I phoned you for a couple of weeks but obviously you had your phone turned off and then you changed your number.' Charles exhaled a short breath 'That made me feel fucking awesome'. He turned to look at her and lifted her chin so that she had to look at him 'Your leaving didn't just affect me Molly, it also affected Sam , my parents and in a way even Rebecca.

Molly raised her eyebrows 'Well I overheard your mum and Rebecca talking about me, supposedly I was probably a bit of a 'midlife crisis', your dad had one years ago, though in his case he just fancied one of the blue peter presenters. You would get over it at some point your mum said, think the fact that you were finally leaving the army made Rebecca think there was a chance it could work between yous and she wanted you back a bit.' Molly dropped eye contact ' Sam asked me one day if I wasn't about would it mean that you and Rebecca would get back together. Made me feel great'

This time it was Charles who looked away 'Molly I loved you, I adored you' he paused struggling to ask the next question 'when did you exactly decide to piss off, was it weeks or days before'.

'I just panicked one day. Army was horrendous, Beck had pulled me in and then I got home to Bath late, and you told me that you were going to a lads rugby weekend first thing in the morning. The thought of spending the weekend in that house by myself and then going back to barracks for the week – I had a panic attack, phoned my Nan the next morning when you had left. She said it was simple, was I happy or not. If I wasn't then I needed to get out though obviously she thought I would have told you. I stayed with her for a while, couldn't face going back to my parents. Seemed simple at the time it was only a couple of months later that I started to realise what a fuck up I'd done but I didn't have the guts to get back in touch until I was drunk one night and I phoned you. You just hung up I thought that you were over me and had moved on.'

Charles remembered that night 6 months after she had left 'When I realised it was you I hoped that you were phoning to ask to come back, when you just said you only wanted to know if I was okay and you sounded drunk I just thought what's the fucking point. Of course the next day I regretted it, wanted to phone you but you had withheld your number'. He half smiled at her 'What a bloody cock up Molly, I don't know what to say. Sorry?'

'Your apologising to me, how the hell did that happen.' She tried to laugh but with the tears it sounded more like sobbing.

He pulled her over and kissed the top of her head 'Where do we go from here Molly Dawes?'


	9. Chapter 9

V

Mrs James looked at her son sitting at the kitchen table with concern. It was now 4 in the morning and he had been sitting there since he had returned at midnight. Presuming he had just needed some time she had patted on him on the shoulder and said goodnight. Whilst getting up to the bathroom during the night she realised that the room he used when he was staying over was still unoccupied.

Charles looked up finally noticing that his mum was in the kitchen and gave her a sad smile, she smiled back and walked past him to put the coffee machine on. The sound of the machine broke the tense silence before Mrs James spoke.

'Talk Charles, you can't keep this bottled up' she walked over to him and put the freshly made coffee down in front of him before taking the seat opposite.

Charles kept looking like he would start speaking before stopping again, words forming but he couldn't get them out.

'You were out tonight, who did you see? Maybe that's a good place to start'

Charles looked directly as his mum 'Molly, I saw Molly'.

His mum grimaced knowing how much pain her son had gone through when she left 'How is she?'

Charles didn't raise his head 'She's fine, yup she's fine. She's a nurse now, she's done well for herself. Still the same girl that I fell in love with '

His hands were shaking and she reached over to try and still them and to get her son to engage with her. 'I'm sorry Charles but why did you see her? It's been nearly 7 years, did she contact you or was it just a coincidence?'

Pulling his hand away he started to drum his fingers on the table 'its such a mess mum, I don't know how to feel.'

She drank her coffee to give him time, knowing that there was no point now in rushing him.

'I always thought that there would be some big reason why she left like that and either I would have given myself the right to hate her or she would vindicate herself. But do you know why she left mum?'

Mrs James just looked at her son, he was going to tell her one way or the other.

'She felt trapped mum. From what she told me tonight nothing was going right. Work wasn't great, she was getting a hard time about me and she didn't feel she belonged here.' He took a deep breath 'she also heard you telling Rebecca that she was probably just a mid life crisis of mine and I would get over her, don't think that really helped but by then I think her mind was made up anyway'.

Mrs James put her hand over her mouth 'Oh Charles, I'm so sorry'

He looked up at the horrified expression on his mum's face and patted her hand 'Its fine mum, its in the past. She didn't say that was why she left it was more as a justification of how everyone felt about her. She was diagnosed with depression sometime after she left, her GP clarified to her that it might have been a delayed result of Afghan. Think everything just built up and she didn't have the strength to cope. I just find it hard for all these years I thought that I was the innocent party and now, well now I realise that she was desperately unhappy and I didn't do anything.' He swirled his cold coffee about in his cup 'She keeps saying that she was punching above her weight or something with me, that horrendous self esteem of hers but I never felt like that, I always thought I was the lucky one to have her'.

Mrs James gave him a reassuring smile 'You know Charles that I did always like Molly. Your father and I had our concerns' Charles went to interrupt but she stopped him and shot him a glare 'not about Molly's upbringing or personality but about how young she was, oh very mature in some respects but in others well if you think about it you were just a little bit older when Rebecca found out she was pregnant and look how the two of you changed over the years, we didn't want you to make the same mistake again.'

Charles grudgingly replied 'I hadn't thought of it like that'

His mum shrugged 'I don't blame you, it must have been very intense in Afghan and then when you were injured. Father and I both thought that there might have been some misplaced sense of responsibility.'

'On who's part?'

She shrugged her shoulders 'We weren't sure, it could have been on either side or in hindsight neither.' Looking him square in the eye she paused for a moment before continuing 'Rebecca looked to us for support when you were away on your tours, we will always be Sam's grandparents and it was hard to drop that role of daughter in law to Rebecca completely when Molly moved in. I can't condone what I said that day but it was only a small part of a bigger conversation, I did say to Rebecca that there was also a good chance that you and Molly may last the course. You have to understand how difficult it was for Rebecca'

Charles snorted

'No Charles, all she wanted was for you to leave the army and you wouldn't and then all of a sudden Molly comes onto the scene and you are willing, sorry no, offering to give everything up.' Making a point she continued 'Just imagine how that must have felt if it had been the opposite way round, she was allowed an occasional bitchy comment'.

'Was I the only one who believed in Molly and I?'

Mrs James contemplated her answer for a moment 'No, We did always agree how you both brought out the best in each other. You had a lovely relationship when you were together.' A faint blush crossed her face 'The physical side of your relationship certainly sounded as if it would get you through a good few years' They both gave each other an embarrassed look before Mrs James took a deep breath 'But when you weren't here you could tell she was miserable. I feel guilty that due to my mother being unwell I couldn't invest any time with Molly to try to make her feel more welcome.' She stood up and took their empty cups away before turning back and putting her arms round her son 'Are you going to see her again?'

He shrugged resignedly 'I didn't make any arrangements. I text to see if she was okay but she hasn't got back to me.' Charles looked at his watch and sighed 'Think I'll hit my pit and try and get an hour before I leave, night mum and thanks'.

.


	10. Chapter 10

V

Sophie was uncharacteristically lost for words, Molly had finally explained everything to her. She couldn't believe that she had known Molly for nearly 5 years and she hadn't known any of this.

'How old were you again when you left Charles' she asked trying to make some sense of it all.

'I had just turned 22'

'You were really young Molly, it couldn't have been easy. But…'

Molly looked up waiting

'Its just a bloody shame that you didn't speak to him and you just ran. I understand that you felt low but, its just, a bloody shame. You could have saved yourself so much heartache and been with a well fit guy. Do you ever want to kill your Nan'

'Hindsights a great thing eh though I'm talking about leaving Charles not killing my Nan, I do quite like the old bat' Molly was feeling drained, it was now 5 in the morning and the sunlight was starting to come through the windows.

'Just as well we're both off today. More coffee?' Sophie got up and headed towards their kitchen.

'Yeah why not though I wouldn't half kill for some alcohol!' Molly turned on the television to try and get some distraction.

'We have Lucy's spare key' Sophie shouted I'm sure we could borrow a bottle or two, she left some behind. I nicked some the other night and replaced it with Lambrini, I hope I'm there to see her face when she takes it out at her next posh dinner party.' Molly gave a half hearted laugh.

'I can't believe he's going out with bloody Lucy though, is that not just my luck?' she flicked through the tv channels trying to find something that didn't require any thinking.

Sophie stood at the entrance of the kitchen and shrugged her shoulders. 'I don't know, I think its all a bit of a coincidence'

Molly turned round and looked confused 'What do you mean?'

'Well, you haven't seem him in years and then Sam comes into the hospital, Charles later tells you that Sam recognised you and then next thing he's going out with Lucy.' Sophie walked over and sat on the couch still thinking 'That night at the bar, Lucy's leaving do' she clarified due to Molly's confused expression 'I recognised him and he made sure that he stood behind you Molly, he looked till he found you. He knew you were going to be there that night I'm sure of it.'

'I think it was just fate Soph'

'Maybe, Lucy just doesn't strike me as his type, from what I can gather she's more like Rebecca though saying that I am basing that on what you've told me about her.'

Molly sat back and put her feet up on the coffee table 'I think that's what would suit him best.'

Sophie patted Molly on her knee 'It must have been hard to overhear his mum and Rebecca talk about you'

'Phht my fault though,I stood and listened, what a nugget I am,' Molly put her head back against the couch 'It was harder when Sam asked me to leave so his parents could be together' Molly leaned forward and tried to stop her tears 'God, I said I wouldn't cry again'. She paused for minute managing to stop her tears 'Rebecca was a nice enough person really'

Sophie got up again to go back to the kitchen 'Nah I disagree about Lucy, think he likes someone that would challenge him bet you he's bored already of her just doesn't know how to end it. See' Sophie started to get excited 'the night of the dinner Molls, he was more interested in sitting and hearing about you than being at the bar with Lucy.'

Giving up trying to find something on TV Molly got up and went through to the kitchen. 'Sorry Sophie but I think the only reason he would have tried to get in touch again would be to find out why I left, he told me that. He needed answers so he could move on with his life and probably even Lucy.'

Sophie banged the milk down on the kitchen worktop. 'He would only have wanted to know if he still cared, MOLLY'

Seeing the shocked but doubtful expression on Molly's face she said more gently 'He obviously loved you once Molls and you really hurt him, he's not just going to come back into your life and declare his undying love for you. You are going to have to persuade him that your worth it and your still the same lovely person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Or' Sophie pretended to stick her fingers down her throat 'be the last person he wanted to see'.

Molly laughed 'Watch it mate, that was classified information I divulged to you'

Sophie grinned back before becoming serious again 'Talking of classified stuff this Beck bloke. Sounds like a tosser'.

They went and sat down again, 'Nah he was just an officer thinking he was doing what was right. Charles was really highly thought of in the army'

'Were you not?'

'At first when I got my MC yeah but then when I was with that shitty platoon my heart wasn't really in it and it showed. It also didn't help that I had a relationship with Charles even if we did wait out till we got home. As much as they can't not allow it its still frowned upon. They were quite happy that I wanted to buy myself out'.

Molly picked up her phone and read Charles's text again 'What am I going to reply Sophie?'

Sophie shook her head 'I don't know, I think you keep it simple just a thanks for letting me explain, its good to see you again and I would put sorry because you are'.

She noticed Molly's hands shaking 'Do you want me to type it for you?'

Molly grimaced and wiped her hands on her pyjamas 'Nah its alright, don't want to suddenly find out I've sent him a text saying do you want to go out with my mate Sophie, she thinks your well fit!'


	11. Chapter 11

V**Thanks again for all your very nice comments it does really mean a lot! Hope your still enjoying x**

Charles and Sam were having a wander round the Christmas market, a tradition they had done every year since Sam was little. He was trying to keep the conversation with Sam going whilst keeping an eye on Molly. He wanted to go over and say hi and get over the awkwardness of their first meeting since she had opened up to him about why she had left but he didn't. Actually, he thought, he just wanted to go over and speak to her. She was with Lucy and Sophie and though Sam had only met Lucy once he didn't want any awkward conversations, Sam was smart and would probably suss that there was too much of coincidence of his dad knowing both Lucy and Molly. Lucy also wasn't aware of the history that Molly and him had shared and the last thing he wanted was to appear reserved or distant to Molly. So he just stood and observed, he didn't want to ruin anything with Molly.

She looked beautiful he thought, it was a cold day and this had brought out the rosy glow of her complexion . Her nose had the delectable tinge of red from the cold, if they were together he would have pinched it and made some joke about reindeers before kissing her. He always used to love how she didn't have to wear too much make-up. He supposed that he had got used to her being natural in the FOB as there wasn't much use for make-up. Who was he kidding, with make up or without he had always just loved Molly. Laughing at something that Sophie had said she caught his eye briefly, stopping short for a moment and her face become serious. He half smiled shyly at her rubbing the back of his neck with nervousness before checking on Sam who was busy looking at a stall selling doughnuts. She followed his gaze and looked at Sam and then smiled at Charles acknowledging sadly and coming to the wrong conclusion that Charles didn't want Sam to see her. Giving him a final resigned smile she turned and followed Lucy and Sophie. Sophie spoke to her and upon hearing her answer she put her arm round Molly and gave her friend a hug. Charles turned and bought Sam a doughnut anything to have a few minutes quiet to sort his thoughts out.

They were in an upmarket bar for Lucy's leaving party. Lucy had sold this one to Sophie as her Leaving London leaving do as she had passed her provisional 3 months and was now permanent at the Hospital so had sold her flat. She had told Sophie all this and not Molly because for some reason things had cooled between her and Lucy. At first Molly had panicked thinking that maybe Charles had said something but she knew Charles and really couldn't see him saying anything to Lucy about her, it just wasn't in his nature. Even Sophie was at a loss to why Lucy was being funny towards Molly, at first she had put it down to Molly's insecurity but then she had picked up that Lucy had sounded a bit disappointed when she had told her that Molly had managed to get annual leave to be able to come.

'Come on Molls, lets do shots' Molly laughed, as much as the thought sounded good she could see many flaws in Sophie's plan.

'Alright Soph, but if you end up spewing down the bog don't expect me to hold your hair' Molly pulled a disgusted face.

Sophie giggled 'Yeah Molly and if you end up spewing in the taxi don't expect me to persuade the taxi driver not to chuck you out… jaegerbombs first?'

Sophie looked around her before shouting 'Oi Lucy Shots?'

Lucy had pulled a face before coming over 'I suppose so, don't think I'll be having many opportunities to have shots here in Bath'

'What you trying to say you posh twat, I'll have you know they do shots all over the country' Molly had feigned annoyance before saying quietly to Lucy 'You alright, can't but feel I've done something to piss you off'

Lucy had smiled at Molly though Molly was aware on the scale of genuine it was probably just a 6 'Of course not Molly, its nothing you've done, just ignore me'

The night had finally got better, Lucy had warmed to Molly the more she had to drink and if she had to be paranoid Molly noted that it was only when there was a mention of Charles that she had become slightly off again. Problem being that Molly couldn't question Lucy about it as she had a very guilty conscious. Molly and Sophie had discussed it later:

'Honest Molls, things can't – pass me the toilet paper under won't you – be good – thanks, I always pick the loo with no paper - she really clams up if anyone mentions him.' Sophie passed the toilet paper back under to Molly.

'Thing is, even if they weren't together I still don't think he'd want to be with me' Molly put head against the toilet partition. 'Think I'm going to have to stop drinking' her head was pounding.

The next day Molly was glad that she had chosen to stop drinking when she had. Sophie and Lucy were currently feeling the worse for wear on the couch. After listening to them moaning Molly decided to be brave and take a walk round Bath. They weren't due to get the train till 4pm and it was only 11.

It was funny she thought to herself how before Charles had come back into her life she would have put Bath down as her most hated place in Britain, now she felt almost nostalgic about the place.

She had wandered round for a few hours before deciding that she was in need of some sort of sustenance, as much as her hangover wasn't anywhere near as bad as the other two she hadn't got off empty handed and now the thought of a cup of tea and some sugar sounded brilliant.

Molly remembered this part of Bath; she walked until she was standing outside of the café that they used to always come to on a Saturday after Sam's rugby. Sam loved the chocolate cake and well both her and Charles were very partial to it too. She always felt relaxed here, as it would mean that she had another night with Charles and then a relaxed Sunday morning before heading back to barracks.

Molly pushed open the door and stepped in, she couldn't in a way understand why she was putting herself through this but the familiar décor (she couldn't believe that they hadn't redecorated in 6 years) and smell of baking brought a tear to her eye. She heard the door opening behind her and took a few steps forward to give whoever was coming in room, she still wasn't sure if she was masochistic enough to stay. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself before turning round deciding to leave, she couldn't do this.

'Molly?'

She looked up into Charles's surprised deep brown eyes, before realising that he had company and looking into the similar eyes of Sam.

'Hiya Sam, good to see you' she smiled nervously at him.

Sam looked between his dad and Molly 'Yeah Molly, you too'.

Molly looked at Charles for some sort of guidance of what she should do next but he was at just as much of a loss.

'Anyway I'd better go' she made to head for the door before Charles put his hand out and stopped her.

'Molly, why don't you stay, eh Sam.' He turned and looked at his son 'It would be good if Molly joined us wouldn't it'

Sam just looked at his feet before nodding and rolling his eyes 'Well this isn't awkward is it?'

Charles laughed nervously but stopped when he saw how uncomfortable Molly looked.

'Why don't you two go and get that table in the corner and I'll order' he turned to go and wait in the small queue.

'So what have you been up to Sam?' Molly asked as they sat down.

He smiled at her slightly warily 'I didn't know if you would recognise me? You didn't in the hospital'

Molly stuttered 'I'm so sorry Sam, I didn't know what to do, think I was more certain you wouldn't have recognised me, it had been 6 years – you alright though, did your shoulder heal?'

'It was alright I suppose, but I'm not that keen on rugby anymore' he shrugged.

'Thought you were keen to be in some kind of tournament' Molly asked remembering their conversation

'Yeah well the team did fine without me, I've taken up football but Mum's not that happy' Sam looked close to tears 'Molly I'm sorry' he looked at her briefly before dropping eye contact.

'Don't be daft Sam you've got nothing to be sorry for'. Molly tried to reassure him, he had only been 7 for goodness sake. 'Anyway what's your favourite team and please don't tell me its Manchester United' immediately Sam relaxed and started to converse.

Charles watched them while waiting, at first he thought it appeared very awkward between them and he was doubtful about his decision. He thought he might have been better to ask Molly if she was free to meet him later but they now seemed at ease with each other. Charles wished that Molly and him could go back to being that familiar with each other as easily.

He took their drinks and cake over and sat down next to his son. Sam was in the middle of telling Molly about their cottage.

'Yeah its great, dad doesn't worry too much about tidying it only when he has company' Sam had raised his eyebrows when saying that.

Charles blushed 'What do you mean when I have company?' he sneaked a look at Molly, she was biting the inside of her mouth trying not to laugh.

Sam got a determined look on his face 'Well whenever you tidy up you've normally asked Gran to look after me because you've got company coming' he phrased the last three words with his fingers.

Molly couldn't help but laugh at the discomfort on Charles's face and he shot her a disgusted look. Sam was smiling pleased that he had managed to amuse Molly though unsure why.

Charles rolled his tongue round his mouth wondering what to say next. Sod it he thought he was an army man attack was the best form of defence, well it wasn't really but he was going for it. 'Top ten, post it notes on kitchen fridge, need I say more?' He gave Molly a challenging look and was shocked to see that it made her laugh even more.

'What Howard, Mark, Jason, Robbie, Gary, Harry, Niall, Liam…' Molly could hardly speak for laughing.

'That's Take That and One Direction isn't it, what's that got to do with what we're talking about?' piped up Sam looking between the two of them confused at what he thought was a sudden change of conversation.

Charles sat back resignedly and relieved before leaning forward and staring straight at Molly 'I have to admit I was a bit disappointed that my name wasn't on it' Molly blushed she had almost forgotten how intensely Charles could look at her and she couldn't think of any witty retorts in fact she couldn't think of anything at this exact moment, she just stared at him before they were both saved by Sam.

'Dad elbows off the table' he mock shouted.

Charles sat back in his seat but couldn't help look at Molly again, she grinned at him watching him drop his gaze before looking back up and grinning at her. Sam just watched the two of them and shook his head. Adults he thought.

They had just finished their cake and drinks and Charles was now impressing Sam with his abilities at football when he was at school.

'Where?' Charles was feeling round his face trying to find the bit of chocolate cake that Molly had intimated was on it.

She looked at him seriously 'Ah no sorry, it's not cake, just a bit of bullshit'.

Sam went into peels of laughter 'Bullshit, I've not heard that in ages'

Charles just stopped, his hand still on his face and stared at Molly his eyebrows raised questioningly.

'Well, we've had to listen to how good you were at rugby when you were at school before haven't we Sam. You expecting us to believe that you were good at everything Charles' Molly was feeling a bit panicky she was sure that there would be some comeback from Charles and she felt that maybe she was going to loose this battle.

They stared at each other, Molly trying hard not to start giggling again. She hadn't smiled so much for a long time and bit her lip trying to stop, her face muscles ached.

He leaned forward to say something and at that Molly's phone began ringing. She ignored it at first far more interested in engaging with Charles. She could feel her knees actually tremble as he looked at her lips before making eye contact again with her 'Do you not think you should maybe answer that Dawes', she glanced from his eyes to his lips and back again and tried to convey that she didn't want this moment to end. Eventually she picked up her phone having missed the call and called the number back.

'Sophie, yeah I'm in a café just getting something to eat, what time, oh right, yeah no problem I'll get you at the station. No no honest I'll get you there, no point you both coming here. Alright, see you soon'.

She looked sadly at Charles 'I'm going to have to go'

He nodded, the moment over and he didn't know what to say or how to get it back again.

'Look after yourself Sam, don't want to see you again with a football injury this time' she ruffled his hair and he pulled away 'Oi, Molly I'm nearly a teenager I don't do PDA's'

She looked at Charles questioningly.

'Public displays of affection, don't worry about it, he's the same with everyone' he leaned over and ruffled Sam's hair 'I'll just see Molly out okay'. Sam just gave him an annoyed look.

They stood outside the café suddenly awkward with each other. Charles spoke first.

'Look Molly, I know things can't ever go back to what they were before' he took a deep breath as Molly looked sadly at him 'but it's great to have you back in my life, do you think there's anyway that we could maybe meet up occasionally. Sam would love that too'. He gave her a smile a melancholy look in his eyes.

Molly nodded, really it was all she could hope for and anyway it could have been worse, he could of asked her to pass on a message to Lucy.

'Yeah no worries that would be great' she stretched up on her tip toes and gave him a kiss on his cheek. 'Take care Charles', she turned and walked away.

He acknowledged to himself that he was still in love with her but he didn't have a clue what to do next.


	12. Chapter 12

V **Sorry for the delay, equine emergency with my lovely old horse has taken up lots of time. Will hopefully get the story finished in the next few days and then I can get back to thoroughly enjoying everyone's FF. I'm too scared to read them as it is always so good and puts me to shame. I really really appreciate reviews and thank you for your time taken in leaving them. **

Charles walked towards the guardhouse wondering if this feeling of nervousness when being in her company would ever go. When he had first phoned her to suggest it he had expected it to be an immediate brush off, it was, after all, only an excuse to phone and hear her voice. Obviously, she had given him some of her lip, telling him exactly what she thought of the British Army. He had listened, took in all she was saying before asking if there was actually anything she had enjoyed about her time in service.

'Weeeellllllll' she had contemplated 'There was quite a nice Captain that I had.'

'Had? Molly? On what terms?' he loved verbally sparing with her and had missed it nearly as much as the physical side of their relationship.

She had giggled and he was sure he could almost hear her blush 'Do you want me to do this talk or not?'

'Great, that will be a yes then' he had joked, hopeful that it had been that easy before she put him right.

'No, it's a maybe, can I have a think?' she sounded uncertain 'I'm not sure I'm ready to face Beck' she had then pleaded softly.

He took an intake of breath trying to quell the anger that was rising 'Molly, you only have to do this if you want to. I just think you'd be brilliant and maybe you should show Beck what the British Army are missing having bullied you out.'

'Really' as per usual he realised she had no idea of her own merits.

'Yes really' he stressed, annoyed at Beck, himself and at that moment basically everyone who had ever come into contact with Molly and made her doubt herself like that.

The talk was going to be on life and work outside the Army. The Armed forces had come in for bad press recently due to the low employment statistics of ex squaddies and had therefore upped their resettlement programme. There had only been a small glimmer of recognition on Beck's face when Charles had suggested Molly as one of their guest speakers. Bidding his time Charles wasn't yet ready to challenge the Colonel on what he had said. It may involve him getting kicked out the army.

Walking towards the waiting area he caught sight of Molly, standing slightly apart from everyone else worrying her bottom lip. She almost seemed to sense his presence and when she turned round she gave him a large grin which lit up her face. He instinctively grinned back at her wishing they were alone and that the last six years hadn't happened.

'Dawes' he shook her hand, wishing he didn't have to be so formal.

'James' she half smirked 'can't believe I'm in amongst a ton of squaddies and I can call you whatever I like, this is maybe going to be fun after all'

'Please don't' he leaned down and whispered 'I've got a reputation to uphold and being rinsed out by a doris would not be helpful'

Watching her raise her eyebrows at him he had mirrored her expression until they both smiled shyly at each other before he suggested the make their way along to the lecture room.

He watched her with pride whilst she gave her talk, her natural warmth coming across and her sense of humour appreciated by the captivated audience and even Beck who was laughing along, 'Wanker' thought Charles. She regaled them with stories of how envious her fellow students had been about her calmness when dealing with crisis situations and that fellow colleagues had a sweep stake running on what would actually make Molly panic. She tried not to search out Charles as she remembered the feeling of absolute panic the day she noticed him sitting in the waiting area.

Once she had finished she had then automatically scanned the room looking for him and when they made eye contact he had winked at her, laughing at her obvious sense of relief that it was over.

'Well, was I brilliant?' She walked over to him and had looked up seeking reassurance. Her face was like an open book thought Charles, she couldn't hide any of her feelings.

He screwed up his face and pondered the question 'Brilliant?. Now would I say Brilliant?' Molly watched transfixed as he rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb, she had almost forgotten the question whilst thinking about his lips wondering if she would ever get to kiss them again 'Nah, I would say you were bloody brilliant actually, no wonder the Afghan medics loved you'. Molly blushed uncomfortable with the praise.

'Really Molly, you shouldn't get embarrassed with a little bit of praise' he teased her but she only shrugged her shoulders 'Don't think you'll ever change me'. Charles became aware of Molly suddenly tensing beside him and when he followed her line of vision he noticed Colonel Beck walking towards them.

'Private Dawes, or should I say Molly' Beck walked towards Molly with his hand outstretched. 'Good of you to come in. Glad to see your doing well'

Charles automatically moved himself closer to Molly trying to protect her 'I was just saying to her Sir, that her leaving was the Army's loss, wouldn't you agree?' If Colonel Beck had noticed the sharp tone in Charles's voice then he choose to ignore it.

'Yes well, I'm sure Molly made the right choice for herself at the time. Did you not Molly?' at that he excused himself not giving Molly or Charles the chance to reply.

'You okay' he gently rubbed his knuckles along Molly's cheek bone not even bothering to check if anybody was watching.

Molly looked at him sadly 'Yeah, just watch yourself though, don't get yourself into trouble on my behalf'. Charles grunted 'If I get myself into trouble it will be on my own behalf believe me'.

Molly watched Charles as he kept a visual on Colonel Beck leaving the room, the problem being she thought, was that when he was being all protective she started to hope that just maybe he still had strong feelings for her.

Once Beck had left the room Charles turned his attention back to Molly.

'Do you need a lift to the train station, I'd love to take you home but just don't have the time. Sorry'

Molly looked at him questioningly wondering if he had realised what he had said.

He looked at her quizzically. 'What?' Molly didn't speak but just looked at the floor. Charles ran through the conversation in his head before realising what he had said, 'Ahhh' he carefully considered his next words 'Sorry Molly. I just meant back to London'.

'Its fine I can take a cab to the station' she felt a sense of disappointment, the thought of going home with Charles had evoked a lovely feeling of nostalgia.

"No way, I'm giving you a lift just give me 5 minutes and I'll get you at the guardhouse.'

The short car journey passed quicker than either would have liked though neither had a clue what to say to the other. Reaching their destination Charles sat with the engine running, all previous conversations they had were tended to be interrupted by someone else, he wasn't quite sure how to say goodbye to Molly.

'Do you think you'll ever forgive me?'

He turned abruptly in his seat to look at her, her gaze surprisingly sharp, he hadn't expected a deep conversation.

'I've forgiven you already Molly' he put his hand on her knee needing some sort of physical contact before continuing 'but I don't think I'll ever forget. I could never trust you to have a relationship with, friendship yes but not a relationship. My first thought every morning would be if you would still be there.'

She dropped her gaze, determined that she wouldn't cry, well not yet anyway. There was a long enough pause for them to both hear sounds from outside, an announcement that a train had arrived, the sounds of sirens in the distance before Molly took a deep breath 'I know, I wouldn't deserve you' she stated in a matter of fact way, before she took his hands holding them tightly trying to get the courage to continue. 'I thought I could do this, being part of your life again. That I could accept being friends but its so difficult. I miss you every day, I hope you phone everyday. I even did this bloody speech just so I could see you'. She half laughed and when he looked at her he was met with eyes glistening with tears. 'I can't even have a telephone conversation with Lucy without feeling well jealous'.

He felt the familiar feeling of panic start, desperate to do the right thing but unable to. For once in his life not having the courage to make this right.

'Are you running away again Molly?' he asked taking his hands back and putting them on the steering wheel, safely away from pulling her into an embrace and telling her just to come back home with him, that they could work it all out. But he was too damn scared, possibly a coward. Give him the Taliban any day he thought rather than the emotions that Molly brought out in him.

'Don't put it like that Charles, its not fair. I'm just trying to cope. This whole situation is all my fault I know that, I have to live with it every bleedin day. But I'm not running away. If you ever need me you know where I am. Give my love to Sam eh'.

He stared miserably ahead, nodded in acknowledgement of what she had said but didn't turn to look as he heard her open the car door 'You broke my heart Molly'. He was aware out of his peripheral vision that she had paused but she didn't turn back to look at him 'I broke my own heart too' she said softly and then got out the car and shut the door.


	13. Chapter 13

V

Charles lay wide awake staring at the ceiling. His eyes full of unshed tears but he wouldn't let himself actually cry. Turning on his side he looked at the empty space beside him. Putting his hand over and placing it on the pillow where Molly used to lie. Remembering that sometimes when he woke from a bad dream he would just need to touch her to be reassured that everything would be okay. She would always seem to sense him even when she was in a deep sleep and would move across the bed closing any distance between them. He would hug her tightly before falling asleep again, contented.

Torturing himself he replayed the last weekend over in his mind. In hindsight kicking himself for not having noticed the look on her face when he had announced that he would be going away for the weekend. So secure in their relationship that he hadn't even considered that she may not be happy, that something was wrong. He had always thought he could read her like a book but he had failed miserably.

They had sex that night, not making love he now accepted. He joked at one point that she sounded like a re-enactment from When Harry Met Sally, she hadn't seen that film and asked what he meant. If your not feeling it Molly, he had told her then just be honest and we can do something else. She had used the excuse that she was tired and after he had climaxed she had just asked him to hold her, refusing his attempts to give her some pleasure.

The next day she hadn't got up with him, telling him with her eyes shut that she would possibly go and spend time with her parents. As he left the room he heard a quiet 'Goodbye' but he hadn't gone back in choosing to let her drift back to sleep. In retrospect she hadn't been tired and having a long lie she just hadn't wanted to look at him. Maybe if she had there would have been a big enough warning sign for him to do something.

He missed her, at the rugby realising that he was giving up a weekend with Molly for some piss head friends watching men running round a rugby pitch. It wasn't even an exciting game and his mind drifted. Pondering on her question re buying a house together. His friends had been taking the piss, slagging him off for still living with his parents', they had a point he supposed. Maybe he thought, they could rent a 1 bedroom flat that they could use when Sam wasn't over or if Molly just needed peace from his family or to have hers over. He had only met her parents once he didn't even know where she lived, that would need to be rectified soon.

Rather than stay over at his friends he had decided to head back to Bath getting the last train, he had sent Molly a text telling her in his drunken way that he loved her. Hopefully she hadn't gone to stay with her parents and they could start discussing where to live and he was sure he would be able to make up for last nights lacklustre sex and would pleasure her all night.

When he got in he didn't put the bedroom light on, the light from the hall showing that her side of the bed was empty. He tried to phone her but there was no answer, he was too drunk to really acknowledge the feeling of foreboding that was starting to creep in.

In the morning he was woken by the sunlight, mouth parched and a headache. Remembering why he didn't drink he reached over to get his phone to see what wisecrack Molly would come up with after his drunken texts. Nothing. His fuddled brain acknowledged that was strange and he lay back down turning to look at her side in the hope that she had maybe come back early this morning and would be lying there looking at him. A sanctimonious grin on her face when she saw how rough he looked. That was when he saw the note. Stupidly he had thought she had maybe left him a love note but when he opened it to read;

'I'm so so sorry I just can't do 'us'. Please forgive me. Love Molly'

Picking up his phone again thinking it was some sort of joke he had looked, 4 texts he had sent and 6 phonecalls and all had remained unanswered.

He couldn't remember going downstairs just suddenly he was in the kitchen, Sam sitting having his breakfast and his mum tidying up, no Molly sitting on the worktop eating her breakfast and bantering with Sam. His mum turned to look at him smiling before concern etched her features.

'Charles, what's the matter?'

Sam had looked up at this point taking in his dad, standing running his hands through his hair and a panicked expression on his face holding a piece of paper.

'Mum, where's Molly?' her son's voice had broken.

'She went to her parents yesterday Charles, did she not tell you? I'm sure she will be back later'. Mrs James put down the kettle and walked over to Charles not knowing what was going on but becoming anxious. She took the note out of his shaking hands. 'Sit down' she had instructed, he did so immediately and put his head in his hands.

Charles sat up 'Shit mum, I've fucked up she's left me' he looked at his mum willing her to say something to differ but she couldn't. All she could do was rub his back like he was a child needing comfort.

Sam gasped having never heard his dad swear, Molly all the time, he had become used to it, but not his dad. But then 7 year old Sam remembered the conversation that he had had with Molly the previous day and he started to feel really guilty, he hadn't really meant it. 'Dad, will Molly come back?', Charles took in his son's crumpled face and realised that he needed to pull himself together this wasn't fair on Sam. 'I'm sure she will Sam, it will just be a misunderstanding' he ruffled his son's hair.

'Mum I'll just go up and phone her find out what's happening' he tried to give them all a reassuring smile. Going upstairs he tried her number again and left a pleading message before going to the bathroom and being sick.

2 weeks later and realising that she had really left him and had no intention of coming back he made the decision that apart from his family he was never allowing anyone to hurt him like that again.

And he hadn't for 6 long years.


	14. Chapter 14

V

Molly answered the door, as per usual she hoped that it would be Charles coming to tell her that he had been a fool but when she opened it Lucy was standing with a bottle of wine.

She smiled but failed to put any warmth into it but then Molly admitted there wasn't much warmth in her smile either.

'Bit early for that isn't it' Molly headed towards the kitchen to get some glasses it was only 3 in the afternoon and Molly had been lounging about all day after her nightshift, she hadn't even had a shower. This she realised was payback for coveting her friends boyfriend. Lucy had turned up as immaculate as ever whilst Molly was evidently attempting to live the lifestyle of a sloth.

Lucy sat down on the couch and looked intently at Molly.

'Well I thought I would share my good news with you' she held out her left hand to Molly 'I've got engaged'.

Molly's brain struggled to cope and as hard as she tried all the emotion that she felt showed on her face.

'Congratulations Lucy, I'm really pleased for you' she looked up at Lucy trying hard to smile but failing, tears starting to form. Lucy gave a twisted laugh.

'Are you? Funny way of showing it' she poured herself a glass of wine before pausing and looking at Molly 'I have to say it does confirm what I've thought all along' she poured Molly's glass and handed it to her before continuing.

'Its not Charles I'm engaged to. It's Hugo. Are you happy now?'

Molly put her hand over her mouth 'I'm so so sorry Lucy.'

Lucy took a sip of her wine and looked straight ahead 'it didn't dawn on me at first, just thought he was taking things slowly. But then in hindsight when I looked back it was always about you'. Molly interrupted 'Listen Lucy nothing happened with Charles when you were seeing him, honest, I wouldn't do that'. Lucy shrugged her shoulders.

'What actually hurt Molly was that you never told me anything, we were supposed to be friends but you just tried to pretend everything was fine'. She sat back on the couch and looked at Molly 'He would always ask if you were going to be at the same place as us. He wasn't going to go to the Charity dinner but when I mentioned that you would be there he changed his mind pretty quick, and when I said that you were going with Tom he had a hundred questions for me. At the time I thought he sounded jealous but ignored it thinking it was just my mind playing tricks.' Lucy gave Molly a penetrating look 'That day you and Sophie came to visit, he had told me that he didn't have time to visit because he was going away but as soon as I mentioned that you were coming he suddenly had to see me.' She raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her drink.

There was something wrong with this thought Molly 'Do you love Hugo?' she hoped Hugo wasn't a rebound.

Lucy looked surprised at the question 'of course Molly, we became close when he would come and keep me company. He would sit and chat about his ex-wife and I started to confide in him that I felt my relationship with Charles was a sham. That was when he told me about Charles having been hurt from a previous relationship, how the person that he had loved had just got up and walked one day. Took me a while to put the pieces together but I presumed it was maybe you, but, in answer to your question I love Hugo very much. We're very much suited, in fact he's the first man that I've met that actually appreciates poetry. I'm not upset that it didn't work out with Charles, I'm just hurt that you couldn't be honest with me'.

'If it makes it any easier I only told Sophie about it a couple of months ago, I've never talked about it. And anyway I've never really been honest with myself. I ruined my chances when I left and have to live with any decisions that he makes. I know my earlier reaction was probably well off but I would have been happy for you once I got my head round it'. Molly shook her head looking at Lucy 'How did you know it was me that left him?'

'Well, Hugo knew whoever it was had been in the army with Charles, the way that he pretended to not be sure if he did know you when I first mentioned you. Then he kept on asking questions about what you had been up to over the years. There was just something odd about it.' She shrugged her shoulders as if it was that simple.

Molly muttered 'What a bloody mess' under her breath.

Lucy nodded in agreement 'Have you tried talking to him, explaining why you left?'

Molly looked guilty 'Yeah we did, I met him one night after he had told me that he needed answers. In fact it was that day that we visited you in Bath that he asked, so I think he was more wanting to ask me that than anything else Luce. We don't even talk anymore,' she looked sadly into her wine glass.

Lucy contemplated what to say next for a moment 'I would be very surprised if it was over Molly, he still obviously has feelings for you. Maybe he's just scared, you did leave him once. If your serious about him you will just need to try and persuade him that he'll be safe with you. That you won't just up and leave one day.'

'I don't think I'm going to persuade him of anything other than what an epic fail I am'. Molly leaned over and gave Lucy a hug 'I am really sorry, I haven't been a good mate have I'

Lucy sniggered 'Well I've got a worse one I need to see. Somebody swapped some of my wine bottles with Lambrini. Only realised when I got back to Bath or I would have been up her to make her drink it!'

Relieved that their friendship seemed to be returning more to normal Molly laughed 'I do miss you living downstairs you know, the bloke that moved in is a real bore'.

Lucy looked at her watch 'I'd better be going Molly I've agreed to meet Hugo, we're going to see a play later.' She looked sadly at Molly 'You know if you had ever told me I would have stayed away from Charles.' Molly felt like shit knowing that she wouldn't have even thought of Lucy's feelings if Charles had shown any signs of being interested.

'Anyway' Lucy gave her a final hug 'We're having an engagement party in a few weeks. Try and come it would be lovely to see you' smiling at Molly she gave her a nudge 'And as Charles will be Hugo's best man I'm sure he will be there'. She kissed Molly on the cheek and left.


	15. Chapter 15

V

Sophie and Molly sat on the floor comparing and wrapping engagement presents 'I've got them a personalised wine carafe and some Lambrini. Did she really say that he liked poetry?' Sophie scrunched up her noose and looked disbelievingly at Molly.

Wrapping a present Molly laughed 'Yeah, she just dropped it into the conversation of why they were well suited'. She leaned over to nick the sellotape from Sophie 'Can't believe you did actually buy her some Lambrini'

Sophie looked up, a bit of sellotape stuck to her lip 'It's not just a bottle of Lambrini, it's an in-joke, a bit of relationship history bottle of Lambrini, anyway, I can't believe that **you** bought them a bloody spoon!'

Molly sighed 'It's not just a bloody spoon, it's a bloody engraved spoon and anyway I've got them a book of poetry too'.

'Have to say that would well put me of someone if they started reciting poetry, eh?' Sophie looked at Molly who was now taking great interest in cutting some paper, she slapped her forehead 'Don't tell me Charles used to read poetry to you, Molly Dawes the most uneducated person in Britain enjoys poetry'.

Molly looked embarrassed 'Well he did a bit' she indicated a small amount with her fingers 'But he was more likely to recite rude poetry'. Sophie burst out laughing and eventually Molly couldn't help but join in.

'You alright about seeing him tonight? Lucy says that he's definitely going,' concern etched Sophie's face.

Molly hadn't been herself since she had told him that she was too involved emotionally to be just friends. 'I'm fine honest Sophie, I'm sure I made the right decision' she sighed sadly and went back to wrapping, jumping when Sophie slammed the wrapped book of poetry down on the floor and asking angrily

'Do you not remember what we discussed?'

Molly nodded before reciting 'yup, I've to be friendly, I've not to be the idiot who after leaving him all these years ago got him back into my life and then threw my toys out of the pram when he said that he couldn't have a relationship with me and instead of being sensible and telling him he could have all the time that he wants I hurt him yet again' Molly took a deep breath 'Did I get everything?'

Sophie mouthed Molly's entire speech silently to herself 'Yup, I would have included a few swear words but I think that was basically all'.

Hugo's house in Bath was in the same opulent street as Charles's. The house had been left to him by his parents when they decided to retire abroad shortly after his divorce became final. Sophie had decided that this was the real reason that Lucy was marrying Hugo so quickly and it obviously had nothing to do with poetry.

They had tried to work out when Lucy and Hugo had got together and they had decided that it must just have been before Christmas when they had visited for Lucy's second leaving do. Lucy had been strangely vague about the whole timeline, they had come to the conclusion that maybe things had overlapped slightly.

Molly walked round the house taking it all in, even though it had been decorated in a completely different style it still reminded her of the James's. She paused to remember some memories; their only Christmas together and her amazement at the decorations, presents and food, Sam standing in the hallway filthy from a rugby match his face elated because his team had won and finally the last time she had headed out the door, knowing that once it locked behind her she would need to wait till she was ever invited back in and that probably would never happen.

She became aware of Charles standing watching her warily, the exact same expression on his face that he had at Smurf's funeral, she hadn't been able to console him then and certainly wasn't able to now. As she walked across the room she arranged her mouth into a semblance of a smile and watched as he turned the corners of his lips up to reciprocate but it never made his eyes, she so wished that he had managed to locate a tardis in the years they had been apart.

Stopping in front of him she looked up nervously before looking over at Lucy and Hugo 'Have to say never saw that one coming'.

'What?' he appeared confused as if he hadn't quite been listening.

'Lucy and Hugo, bit of a surprise there'.

He shrugged his shoulders looking briefly at Molly before taking in what was going on around him 'Well if you find someone that your happy with'.

Molly exhaled slowly not knowing what to say, she looked round the room and caught sight of Sophie pretending to inspect the buffet whilst keeping an eye on Molly.

'They do have a mutual love of poetry though' said Charles giving her a ghost of a smile. He had promised himself that he would be polite but for both their sanity it would be better if they kept their conversation to a minimum, as per usual though he couldn't help but engage with Molly Dawes.

She sniggered 'don't get Sophie started on that one' Charles nudged Molly, their easy familiarity returning and indicated with his head towards Sophie 'talking of which, incoming 12 o'clock'.

'Is that your son over there' Sophie pointed towards Sam who was being chased by some girls in the hall' Standing beside Charles who had nodded before blushing as she winked at him 'takes after his dad with the woman then I suppose'.

The conversation went quiet with Charles unsure what to say. Sophie didn't have a problem, she looked up at Charles 'What did you get the happy couple as an engagement present?'

'A weekend stay for two at Bailbrook House' he looked at Sophie who let out a low whistle 'Nice, but shit Molls that really does put your spoon to shame'

'Spoon?' Charles looked down at Molly in bewilderment trying not to smirk.

Replying through gritted teeth Molly put him right 'Not just a spoon but an engraved spoon and I got them a bleedin' book of poetry too' she stared at Sophie accusingly 'It's just dawned on me who you remind me of – my bloody Nan'.

Sophie looked indignant and encouraged Charles to take her side 'I'm nothing like her Nan eh Charles?'

Charles shrugged his shoulders 'If I'd ever met her I'd let you know.'

Looking uncomfortable Charles spoke to Sophie 'don't suppose there is any chance of giving Molly and I 5 mins for a quick chat?' making eye contact with Molly he tried to convey that she had nothing to worry about giving her a reassuring smile.

'You can both have as long as you want, I'll probably be a while researching botox and jowl surgery' she said pointedly to Molly as she walked off.

'Come' Charles instructed heading upstairs towards an unused bedroom, it the house along the street it would have been their bedroom. Once in he shut the door giving them some privacy. Molly couldn't help feeling a bit of hope.

'It's been lovely to speak to you again Molly, I thought there was a possibility that you might have ignored me tonight' he looked sadly at her wanting some sort of reassurance. 'Of course not' Molly shrugged her shoulders 'You know if you ever changed your mind or needed me I'd be here for you'

'You and I, we're just not destined to be together are we?' he resumed his sad look.

'Well not if you don't want us to be, no' Molly pointed out crossing her arms.

Charles exhaled a long slow breath 'Sorry Molly I didn't ask you here to discuss us, I think we would just go round in circles all night. I just wanted you to know some news I received.' He looked at Molly 'I haven't really kept in touch with him but occasionally we exchange an email. He knew you had left and that I wasn't in contact with you but he got in touch recently and asked me to pass something onto you if I could.' Charles smiled at her, a sudden beautiful genuine smile like he was proud of her, Molly was still very confused and deeply disappointed, for a moment she had thought she had hope. 'Charles?' she questioned looking at the floor so she wouldn't be too moved by the smile.

He touched her chin so that she looked at him 'Quaseem, Molly' Immediately Molly gasped 'Quaseem has informed me that Bashira is now at University in Kabul and by all accounts is doing brilliantly. Look how you helped that young girls life. You should be proud of yourself.' He said earnestly. Seeing her beautiful expression and the emotion that was being played out in her beautiful green eyes he acknowledged to himself that this would never get any easier. .

Molly looked up at him in wonder and reached up to wipe the dampness from the corner of his eyes, he put his hand out and traced the side of Molly's face before pulling her in for a gentle chaste kiss. Molly couldn't help but try and mould herself to him, he moved one hand down to her hips to stop the collision of their bodies, before returning to his habitual position of a hand on either side of her face as he stared at her intently taking in her face 'you know if you ever need anything in life Molly to just get in touch, okay'.

She stared at his lips somehow hoping she could persuade him to kiss her again but he kissed her forehead and let her go. 'Don't suppose I could ask a favour?' Charles stepped back and nodded his assent. 'Of course' he looked perplexed waiting for her question.

'For Lucy & Hugo's wedding would you be my plus one'

Charles was thoughtful for a moment before he laughed softly, she always took him by surprise 'Do you think that's a good idea Dawes?'

'Well why not?' Molly looked at him innocently 'If you brought anyone with you I might gonna have to kill them'.

Charles put his hands on his waist and looked down at his feet, contemplating his decision 'Right okay, I'll be your plus one it's a deal' he put out his hand for Molly to shake. He watched her face light up at his answer 'Molly, you know this doesn't change anything don't you. If I could switch off that feeling of panic I have when I think about having you seriously in my life again, I would in a minute. I really want us to leave today on good terms, neither of us going away and crying into our drinks, is that possible?'


	16. Chapter 16

V

Molly was making her way back downstairs having pulled herself together, she had remained strong with a smile on her face till Charles had left the room and then succumbed to a quiet sob. Sophie had told her that she had to play the long game, that there was going to be no easy fix and she would just have to suck it up. She still didn't know if she was strong enough but she would give it a try.

Charles was coming up the stairs in such a rush that he almost didn't see Molly. Immediately she took in Charles's panicked expression but before Molly could say anything he started to speak quickly 'I can't find Sam, he's disappeared Dad's been back to our house but the door was locked so there was no way he could get in, I don't know where he is'.

'Do you need me to look anywhere?'

'I don't know Molly, we've checked all the bedrooms but I don't know you could maybe check them again. I'm going outside to drive round to have a look. He hasn't been seen for about an hour'. His voice was unsteady with panic.

Molly touched Charles on the shoulder 'He'll be fine honest, he's probably hiding somewhere, he was good at that when he was 7' she didn't think there was anything she could say to appease Charles's panic and turned to go back upstairs and start looking.

.

'What you doing under there' she asked after crouching down and lifting up the valance sheet. He was under the bed, she had been right, in the equivalent of her and Charles's old bedroom.

'Hiding' came Sam's cocky reply.

'Well I gathered that, you always caught me out hiding under my bed.' Molly took out her phone and text Charles to say that she had found him and he was fine before crawling underneath to lie next to Sam.

'Broken anything valuable?' she queried. That had been his most common reason for playing a solitary game of hide and seek when he was younger.

'No' Sam laughed 'I'm hiding from the girls. One of them keeps trying to kiss me.' He made a bleuch noise.

Molly sighed 'You do realise that your dad has been well worried about you' It was dark under the bed but Molly could sense that Sam had turned round to face Molly.

'I heard you talking earlier, I'm sorry Molly. It is my fault isn't it' Sam's voice trembled.

Molly gave an indignant snort 'Don't you go and try to take any credit for me fucking up, it's all my own work'.

Sam sighed 'I did shout at you and tell you to get out of our lives and that no one wanted you'.

Molly gulped, when she remembered it it had been painful, she had played it down to Charles as it wouldn't have been fair to either 7 year old Sam or his dad to go into full details. 'Sam' Molly said sadly 'I won't tell you this again but you were only 7. Believe you me if my parents had split up I would have been far worse to anybody that came into our family, and I bleedin hated my old man. You love your mum and dad so much, I could see where you were coming from. Okay?'

'My dad's never going to take you back is he' Sam asked quietly.

'No. I think I've well and truly burned my bridges there, just have to live with it'. Molly was glad it was so dark and that Sam couldn't see her silent tears. She tried to wipe them away, she really was fed up of crying.

'I overheard dad telling Uncle Hugo once that boys, I mean men, always love the hardest or something. They were both drinking something, think they were a bit drunk'. Sam sounded almost disgusted, Molly wasn't sure if it was to do with his dad talking about love or drinking.

'They're a fine pair them aren't they, you would think they had been hurt or something'. Molly gave into a giggle at the ridiculousness of having a conversation about her love life with 13 year old Sam under a bed, too dark to see each other and so dusty that she was sure they were going to start sneezing soon.

'I do have to say though that I think us woman love the longest without hope'. Molly sighed looking up at the base of the bed, wondering why she had felt the need to tell Sam that.

'What do you mean Molly?'

'Well, I'll never stop loving your dad, at some point I might move on but I'd still always love him. Don't think I'll ever love someone like I love him. You know I'd like kids of my own one day' she paused her voice breaking 'mind you I'd get those beds that go right down to the floor so the little bleeders couldn't hide underneath whenever they broke something or overhear conversations and get me into trouble with the school or social repeating swear words'.

Sam giggled, he sounded more like the innocent 7 year old that she had known and not the teenage boy who was growing up too quickly. It gave Molly a moment or two to compose herself. 'Anyway Sam, these girls whats so wrong about them?'

All of a sudden Molly could see Sam's face and when she turned round Charles was holding up the valance 'You two okay under there?'

Molly nudged Sam encouraging him to apologise and explain, she couldn't trust her own voice yet.

'Sorry Dad' Sam sounded almost contrite, Molly was impressed 'Molly said you were worried about me'.

'You could say that, room for another under there?' Molly started to shift up but then realised that Charles was going round to Sam's side. Her and Sam giggled as Charles tried to get his tall frame under the bed. Pulling Sam into an embrace Charles whispered to him 'please don't ever do that again okay' he kissed Sam on the forehead and hugged him tightly. Molly felt she was intruding so left Charles and Sam to have some quality time, they didn't need her.

They came downstairs half an hour later, Charles had briefly sought her out to say thank you again. She had shrugged and told him that it was no big deal and that she had been so used to finding him under their bed when she lived in Bath that it was the only logical place to look. He had given her a brooding look before heading off to apologise to Lucy and Hugo for the interruption to their party.

An hour later her and Sophie said their goodbyes, It took her a moment to get Charles's interest as he was furiously typing away on his phone. He looked like a rabbit caught in headlights when she finally got his awareness 'that's us away, I suppose I'll see you at the wedding?'

He had stood up and then sat back down again, then realising his manners and standing up again rubbing the back of his neck 'Emm okay Molly, yeah, I'll be in touch. You got your emmm phone and emmm everything?

Molly laughed 'think the stress of Sam has finally got to you, I'm sure I've got everything but if I haven't its an excuse to get in touch. Take care' she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He was about to open his mouth when he was aware that his mum was heading over, her sights firmly set on Molly. 'Oh shit Molly here comes my mum'.

Molly looked into his eyes completely unsure of what emotions where going across his face before turning round to be reacquainted with Mrs James. His mum in the end had just hugged her and told her that she was looking well and to feel free to pop in at anytime for a coffee. It was as if the last 6 years hadn't happened.

She had given Charles one more sad look before heading away. 6 months she thought till the wedding was going to be a long long time.


	17. Chapter 17

_V_

_To: Mollywesthamdawes_

_From : CharlesJames83_

_Subject : Begging_

_Oh Molly!_

_Please forgive me, can you? I've just overheard your confvestation with Sam and god I'm so sorry I've been an absolute prannet )thought Im still not sure what that actually means) I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm – shit have just been speaking to you there and left my finger on a key. Please don't say that you females have the monopoly on loving longer and the most, I've been a coward and a pathetic fool but never doubt that I have always loved you and think safe to say always will. Would you please meet with me and we can sort this mess out, my mess out. I've emailed you just in case you have given up hope and are away to find the future father of your children. But in your words earlier ^I might gonna have to kill him'_

_I nearly blurted this out to you before my bloody mothe rinterrupted us! She has also agreed that I'm a prannet and should have taken the opportunity of your love as soon as you bravely offered it._

_Hopefully you will get this before you get to the train station and you can come back to me and we can do lots of talking and I'll beg you to forgive me._

_If you can't forgive me please just let me know I'll understand._

_Love_

_Charles the Prannet_

_Ps your prannet.  
><em>

_To: Mollywesthamdawes_

_From : CharlesJames89_

_Subject : Ps_

_Im happy to consider more than talking – or a bit of physical action while we're talking might be good. (:  
><em>

_To: Mollywesthamdawes_

_From : CharlesJames89_

_Subject : PPS_

_Re the future husband of your children. Please remember I'm a trained killer, love you.  
><em>

_To: Mollywesthamdawes_

_From : CharlesJames89_

_Subject : PPPS_

_I'll understand but I will be absolutely gutted, love you. I'm starting to get a tad worried._

_Charles  
><em>

'FUCK'

'FUCK'

'FUCK'

The tutting of a pompous colleague next to her brought Molly back to earth, she looked at the offender on the next table 'Fucking junk mail' she exclaimed to the confused woman. Molly put her hand over her mouth not knowing whether to laugh or cry just staring at the screen of her phone. She couldn't believe that she hadn't checked her junk mail in the last 3 days, mind you she thought, she hadn't expected an email from him. She groaned and put her head on the table, he had text 2 days ago too 'Everything okay?' Fuck thought Molly she had replied 'Yeah, why shouldn't I be' thinking that he would get back with some witty response and she could have the pleasure of some texting with him. There had been radio silence since.

Molly had pulled in a few favours. Her story of feeling ill and the threat that she could possibly be coming down with the norovirus had given her the afternoon off. She just had to get to Bath and find him. On the train she checked her phone again, her message 'Oi you prannet, I'm on my way' was yet unanswered and she sent him an email as well.

Charles blamed himself. She had offered herself to him on more than one occasion and he had repeatedly knocked her back. He could, they suppose, argue the details of who loved longest, hardest or the most for hours but he had to admit that she had loved the strongest and he could see why she had given up this time. He couldn't even think of last time but if he did he would have to admit that he had won that one.

When he had said to her at the engagement party that they were destined to not be together he had been in control, he held the cards of power in their relationship letting her suffer. She had continued to suffer with good grace. Even tolerating his relationship with Lucy, he hadn't even had the decency to tell her that Lucy had started to see Hugo, leaving her to find out from someone else.

Deep in thought and self pity he realised that he had burnt the fish fingers. If Rebecca could see him feeding her son burnt fish fingers she would immediately be on the phone to her solicitor requesting full custody. At least he thought, only one side was burnt, Sam might not notice.

'SAM, dinner'

Sam walked through scrunching his face in disgust when he noticed the fish fingers and microchips. He picked up a soggy chip 'Really Dad?' Charles just shrugged and continued to get Sam a drink .

'Phone off the table Sam' At least he was keeping Sam's manners up even though he wasn't able to provide him with a nutritional meal.

'My phones not on the table' Sam continued to eat and check the phone, picking up fish fingers and staring at the burnt part with disgust.

'What?' Charles put his drink on the table.

Sam gave the sigh of a teenage 14 year old 'My. Phone. Is. Not. On. The. Table. Its yours, mines on charge' Sam took a bite of a fish finger grimacing but managing to continue to scroll through the phone 'oops, yours is going to need charged now too.' He looked at his Dad, who did not look at all happy, infact he looked absolutely livid. 'Eh dad, I'll just go and charge it but I don't know what your annoyed about nobody ever phones you anyway. Saying that Molly text earlier'

Charles rested against the kitchen worktop and sighed with resignation. He had spent 2 days constantly checking his phone but there was nothing, ever, apart from a flip reply to his text. Today he had promised himself that he would only check every few hours, he would use that army discipline to not check constantly. His battery had died early afternoon (he hadn't kept his promise to himself) and he had left his phone on charge once he had got back home. Well he thought he had left it on charge, Sam had obviously been using it and he would now need to wait till it had charged up before he could check to see what Molly had said. He felt very very nervous.

'Dad, you didn't tell me Gran was coming over' Sam shouted innocently not realising the emotions his dad was going through.

Charles shook his head 'Not tonight, Sam'

'Well her car just drew up' Sam followed his dads line of vision taking in his dinner. Charles scratched the back of his head 'Well you had better let her in'.

He turned deciding to make himself a coffee, he did not want to see his mothers face when she saw what he was feeding her grandson and made himself busy getting it ready.

'Hello'

Time actually stopped, thought Charles. He watched without acting the water for the coffee falling into the overfill tray as he held his mug in his hand. Part of him didn't want to turn round and be disappointed. His heart couldn't take it but it definitely sounded like Molly.

'I'm sorry, your email went to my junk mail'.

The same voice had spoken again and he so recognised it and wanted to believe it. Slowly turning round he took in the sight of Molly Dawes standing in his kitchen, shoulders slightly slumped, hands in pockets, nervous but being brave yet again.

'Molly' his voice broke as he closed the gap between them. Still not believing that she was actually here.

'Molly' he held her face in his hands wondrously looking at her face. Molly put her hands on his hips and pulled him closer, she didn't think she could get as close to him as she wanted.

'Have I ever told you that I love you' he pulled her into a big hug, kissing the top of her head full of relief that she was actually here.

'Not for a while no but I love you too' Molly's hands had started to wander, finally able to touch him like she wanted, god, he felt just as gorgeously muscly as before.

He laughed before running his hand gently down her face, tipping her chin up so he could kiss her. Making eye contact and then dropping his gaze to her lips letting her know what exactly his next move was. He could not wait to kiss her.

**A/N - Honest I'm not leaving it there, won't be long till next chapter up. **

** A guest reviewer suggested a song - Kodaline - All that I want - I love it and agree it would be apt in the story. **

** Thank you all so much for your reviews, they are all really appreciated and gave me a wee warm buzz when I read them. **

**Hope you enjoy.  
><strong>


	18. Chapter 18

V**Thank you all again for your kind comments and reading this story. I think there may be 1 more chapter after this but not quite sure yet. **

'Dad, what are you doing to Molly?'

Sam, confused, looked at his dad who was currently lying with his full weight on top of Molly holding her hands above her head. The shrieking and giggling from Molly having disturbed him from his xbox and he had come to investigate. Surprisingly neither his Dad or Molly looked too embarrassed at having been disturbed and had just grinned at each other.

Charles let go of Molly's hands and started to move to a sitting position. He had to do it carefully. Molly's wriggling whilst she had been trying to get away had caused an obvious reaction in his body that he was sure his son wouldn't want to see. He smirked at Molly before looking at Sam 'She wouldn't let me kiss her Sam'.

'That's gross dad, I wouldn't let you kiss me either' Charles feigned hurt for a moment. Only a few years ago Sam would have been jumping on top of them, not being the fun police. Molly winked at him from her position next to him and gave him a massive smile. Yes, he thought, everything was good in his world.

Sam rolled his eyes before leaving his dad's bedroom 'Can you please keep the noise down, it's embarrassing.' Charles mock saluted him before bringing his attention back to Molly.

'I still can't believe your actually here'. He whispered reverentially taking her hand and entwining their fingers, anything for physical contact. Molly gently ran her other hand through his hair, the curls grown back in from the short haircut that he had when she had first seen him in the hospital, tracing the extra worry lines around his eyes she felt a moments unease that she may have contributed to a few due to her decision. She took a big sigh, struggling with her emotions 'Thank you' she leaned forward and kissed his hand, not immediately sitting back up in an almost act of deference. 'Molly, thank **you**' he lifted her chin up so that they were looking directly at each other 'I don't know what I would have done if you had given up on me'.

'Never' she replied earnestly.

'When I was listening to you and Sam, I realised that I had just presumed you would always be there, just there' he indicated with his hand towards her 'for me to take out my frustration at you leaving whenever I wanted'. He looked away rolling his tongue round his mouth and thinking carefully of how to phrase how he had felt 'then, when you said that you would probably move on at one point even though you would still love me, I suddenly realised that you might actually not be there one day. That you might in reality have someone else's children and I wouldn't be part of your life. I couldn't bare it. Seeing you with someone else. That you wouldn't be the last person I'd see'.

Molly struggled in vain to hold back her tears 'that day I saw you all sitting in the hospital, I wanted to be part of it so much, I just wanted to go over and give you a hug, tell you what an epic mistake I'd made. But obviously I couldn't'

'I don't know what I would have done if you had come over' he shrugged candidly 'When Sam said that he had seen you I felt angry again, fearful of getting in touch again but knowing that I had to, that I couldn't move on with my life unless I did, scared that you would hurt me again'.

They sat and looked at each other not knowing what to say next. Molly unexpectedly chuckled 'we're sitting like what we did that day in your cabin before Smurf interrupted us. Do you think you might have kissed me if we hadn't been interrupted?'

His eyes darkened as he took in her lips 'Ah tactical error there Dawesy, you've reminded me what we were up to before Sam interrupted us'. A look of panic came over Molly's face as she stood up taking in her surroundings to see where she would be safest. Backing away from Charles she headed towards the door, maybe she thought she could go in and sit beside Sam, she would be safe there. Charles had also stood up and was currently almost stalking her, waiting to strike. Molly laughed nervously 'Please, no Charles' he gave her a dangerous smirk shaking his head, still advancing towards her, she tried again 'Surely we could wait out a couple of days' his dark eyes filled with desire continued to offer no mercy. Taking her by surprise he had made a successful grab for Molly, one arm round her waist, pressing her up against him, making any attempts to escape futile. With his free hand taking her hand in his, walking her back towards the wall. 'Your getting kissed Molly, just accept it' Molly feeling the wall behind her gave a final struggle and giggling lifted her knee to try and make enough contact to discourage him. It backfired immediately as he put his feet between her widening her stance and putting her off balance slightly, strategically positioning his weight against her hips making her immobile. Molly positioned her face away trying not to laugh. Turning her head back round with both hands Charles held her face, gently, but he was in charge and had control over her. She paused, watching him, lust starting to build as he slowly moved his lips towards her, desire starting to take over the feeling of embarrassment for Molly. Over 6 years relief when their lips actually met and he kissed her so so softly, stopping for a moment to move back slightly and take in the desire in her face before crushing her mouth completely with his, passion finally giving in. Molly grabbed his shirt fisting it in her hands increasing the weight of his body against her, moaning at the pressure starting to build up, she then moved her hands up to his face, mirroring his hand position, pulling his head even further towards her to deepen the kiss. Coherent thoughts started to infiltrate Charles's mind as he remembered that Sam was in the house, his kisses becoming gentler, though Molly did everything that she could to continue the intensity. 'Molly. Sam. Later okay' he tried to infer with his stare that he would have loved to continue and pushed his groin against her to allow her to feel what she was doing to him. Molly groaned and placed her head against his chest taking in the sound of his heartbeat. He embraced her and kissed the top of her head, laughing gently into her hair 'Well you can't say that I'm scared of commitment Dawes, just think, in a few days we should have his and her cold sores'.

Molly groaned with embarrassment, refusing to look up at him. Charles chuckled 'Don't suppose I could persuade you to stay the night?'


	19. Chapter 19

V

'Oh for goodness sake Molly, this is getting boring' Sophie was bouncing about on a birthing ball 'I'm sure you told me that you would be screaming or something not just lying there internalising.' Sophie picked up the gas and air again taking a deep breath, a moment's relaxation on her face as it took effect.

Molly feeling another contraction grimaced 'Fuck off Soph, its not my fault that you were the only person I could ask'. Her parents had taken off to Benidorm for their first holiday with the younger kids and wouldn't be back in time. The contraction dissipating she thought of the prenatal classes and the midwifes words that once a contraction had been that was the last time you would feel that one. Charles and her had laughed about it, with Charles telling her from previous experience with Sam that another even more powerful one would be right behind it. Dickhead thought Molly, always bloody right. She looked at her watch; it was getting closer, 4 minutes between each contraction.

'If that bloody midwife comes in again to see how fucking dilated I am can you tell her to piss off' she turned and looked enviously at Sophie who as a true friend was currently now wearing the gas and air mask. Sophie taking in Molly's face took it off and held it towards the one actually in labour and currently needing it.

Molly shook her head 'No Sophie' she grimaced again another wave hitting her, trying hard to speak with the pain 'you know it makes me feel like puking'.

Sophie shrugged and took another deep inhalation before offering more words of wisdom 'think you should have some pain relief'. For the first time Molly felt like succumbing to her emotions and starting to cry but she would be strong she decided. Charles would be here, she could hold on.

'Do you ever regret shagging him then Molls? Supposedly that's what women do when they're in labour, regret having sex'

Molly was about to tell Sophie to fuck off when she thought for a second that maybe her friend had a point especially as he didn't have the bloody decency to be here for her. Had it ever been worth it she wondered? But then even whilst in labour she could feel the blood rushing to her face. Finally a smile appearing, yes, she thought, it had definitely been worth it.

'Bloody knew it' Sophie exclaimed putting down her gas and air mask 'with an arse like that I knew he would be good in bed'.

Molly ignored her.

In the brief interlude between yet more contractions Molly started to focus on the last 3 years, trying to take her mind of the absence of Charles. Their relationship still hadn't been perfect but Molly had been fine about that, it wasn't as if she had grown up in a fairy tale household. Any anyway, compared to her parents relationship it had been perfect.

He had asked her to marry him just short of two years ago at his favourite time of year, and what was becoming Molly's too, Christmas. Thankfully he had waited till all their family had gone home and it was just them. Well, not she remembered, that he had waited, just that he had given up waiting for her to notice the ring attached to the star on the top of the Christmas tree. Molly had immediately said yes before her all too familiar insecurities came to the fore.

Just over a year since he had proposed at Christmas she had come into the kitchen one morning and threw the shopping bag on the table 'Bloody hell the queue in the shop was unbelievable', she patted Charles on the shoulder as she passed him sitting at the kitchen table.

'Do you want a coffee? I'm desperate for a cuppa!' she took two cups out still not aware that Charles hadn't yet spoken a word 'I can make you that bleedin fish pie now, only looked at the recipe today and realised we didn't have bloody mustard' putting the kettle on and switching on the coffee machine she finally turned to look at him. He was still sitting staring straight in front of him. A frown formed on Molly's face 'You alright?'

Charles didn't make eye contact whilst replying tersely 'Why wouldn't I be.'

Molly had shrugged her shoulders 'Dunno but your being incredibly quiet, if I didn't know there was no reason for you to be in a mood, then I'd say you were in a mood' she explained pointedly. He finally turned to look at her, anger and some other emotion on his face 'A note Molly?'

'Yeah well I didn't want to send you a text and wake you' she stopped what she doing realisation dawning on her 'Oh Charles, please tell me that you didn't think what I think you thought?' She now realised his expression was a mixture of anger and fear. He got up and walked to the window looking out at the garden, insecurity showing through his voice and stance 'I thought for a moment when I saw the note that you had left me again', his shoulders slumped.

Molly stood in the centre of the kitchen, fuming at herself for being so insensitive. 'Charles, I don't think I'd leave you a leaving note telling you I was away to the shops to get mustard' he didn't turn round, she went over and put her arms round him, placing her face against his back. 'Shit, I'm sorry I didn't think, I just wanted to make you a nice dinner, I thought I'd be back before you woke up'. She could feel him start to relax slightly.

He took a deep breath still not turning round to accept the embrace 'Why won't you marry me Molly?'

Molly sighed resignedly 'We've talked about this before, its not that I won't marry you, I just can't be bothered with the fuss I don't want to be the girl in a stupid dress that everyone's staring at, especially not at this size.'

'Girl, think your pushing it there' he half laughed and turned round and caressed her curves, her pregnancy starting to show 'woman maybe but not girl, surely?'

Phew she thought, she had him back. 'Oi you' she found it strange not to be able to fit into anything she wanted, slightly insecure about it. She kissed him gently 'could we not just run off and get married – please'

He returned the kiss, increasing the pressure before breaking off and holding her by the shoulders and giving her a serious look 'Is that a yes Molly? You will actually marry me? Not just say that you'll marry me and then clam up if anyone so much as mentions it?' It had now been well over a year since he had asked her to marry him and it was her constant stalling that had made him think there was a possibility that she had left him this morning.

'If you promise that it can just be us with no fuss, then yes.'

He kissed her on the tip of her nose 'If I get everything organised, you'll turn up?'

'Yeah with no fuss, and not many people' she held up her pinkie. Charles now initiated in the way of the Dawes, reciprocated and they made a pinkie promise.

He had been true to his word and 2 months later before he had been deployed to yet another security risk in the Middle East for 3 months active service they had been married, a small intimate service with just their parents, siblings, Sam and close friends. There had been no fuss.

Molly had just said a fond farewell to another contraction; she was trying to copy the breathing technique that they had practiced at ante-natal classes. It was making no difference. It had always been Charles who had reminded her what to do, she should have paid more attention. As much as he hadn't made any prenatal classes he appeared to have an encyclopaedic memory from Sam's birth and imparted his words of knowledge via Skype. No doubt thought Molly that Rebecca would have managed to give birth with full make up on and her hair perfectly in place.

Molly clamped her legs shut at the sight of the midwife entering the suite. Sophie immediately put down the gas and air and tried to stand up elegantly from the birthing ball to go towards Molly in the hope it made her look supportive. Spying a hello magazine Sophie started to fan Molly with it.

Molly could feel herself starting to get really irritated, in her planning of this Charles would have been here for her to shout at to tell him that he wasn't wiping her face properly. Not Sophie ineffectually fanning her. The pain starting to get to her she felt panic settling in that Charles wasn't going to be here in time.

'Your doing well Molly another hour and I think you should be ready to start pushing' the midwife smiled encouragingly and pulled off her gloves and walked away, Molly waited till she heard the door closing behind her before turning to cling onto Sophie's arm before hissing 'Were the fuck is the bastard?' she lay back, another contraction, even closer together now. She heard Sophie snigger.

'The bastard is here Dawes, take it that maybe some pain relief might be in order?'

Relief flooded through Molly before it was quickly followed by another contraction coursing through her. She turned to look at Charles, he looked shattered she thought and had obviously come straight from Brize Norton. She had no sympathy. He did look bloody good though and if she hadn't been so tired she would have pulled Sophie up for ogling him in his uniform.

Molly started to pant trying to control the pain 'Took you bloody long enough to get her didn't it.'

Charles held her hand and took a cloth to wipe her face 'Well, some people have trouble keeping to timescales, trust you to go 4 weeks early. I'll have you know that my father almost broke a speed limit to get here.' He leaned down and kissed her 'Your doing brilliant, how's the breathing going?'

'Not good' Molly answered honestly 'I think I'm reconsidering the whole giving birth thing, its not as much fun as I thought. Do you want a turn?'

Charles shook his head in amusement at Molly 'Just remember' he started to demonstrate the breathing technique. Molly stopped and stared, another contraction having gone and for the first time since she had started labour 10 hours ago, when she knew that her husband might not make it due to being mid air from Iraq she briefly found something to laugh about 'You look like a bleedin puffer fish gasping for air'. The irony wasn't lost on him.

Molly didn't have time to gloat when another even stronger contraction took hold and finally she was able to squeeze the life out of Charles's hand.

30 minutes later, and 20 minutes after the midwife had told Molly that she had actually left it too late for an epidural, diamorphine and a request for a caesarean, baby Harry James was born.

Charles sat beside his wife who was trying to nurse their newborn son. He stroked his son's cheek before whispering in Molly's ear, emotion in his voice 'I feel a bit bad for saying it in a way but I'm so glad that Sam broke his collar bone'.

Molly looked up and smiled lovingly at her husband 'Nah you're just glad you got back in time so I didn't call this little bleeder Dylan'.

Charles laughed into her hair 'Just be glad Dawesy that you've managed to get it in as his second middle name'.

**Thank you all so much for reading this story, apart from a few panic attacks about getting the story right (you can see that grammar and spelling aren't high on my list) I thoroughly enjoyed writing this and really really appreciate you all taking the time to read and leave lovely comments**.

**Thanks a million. xx**


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